This follows on from yesterday. And from the sermon today, about repentance, and the need to not only say we are sorry, but to do the right thing and walk in a path of correction. Wintery Knight has a series of posts on forgiveness and repentance that cover this far better than I can, and as an introduction for today it is worthwhile reviewing them: I am not sure this is an argument about once saved, always saved, but is an argument about how to live.

My argument is twofold. First, there is a clear teaching of Jesus explaining the sequence of sin and forgiveness. Repentance precedes forgiveness, between humans (Luke 17:3). The verses cited by the forgive without repentance crowd don’t show the mechanics of how to forgive, they are making the point that if you want God to forgive you, you should forgive others. The parable in Luke 18:9-14 affirms this again – repentance always precedes forgiveness.

Second, we have an obligation to imitate God, and that means imitating the way he forgives those who sin against him. When I raise that with the unconditional forgiveness crowd, they want to insist that there is a difference, that the word “forgive” means different things. I’m not convinced.

Finally, I do think that forgiving someone is obligatory if they sincerely repent, and even if they screw up again and again. So long as the repentance is sincere, (like if there is restitution and a genuine effort to show an understanding how the sin affected the wronged party in writing), then forgiveness should be automatic. Depending on how bad the sin is, there maybe be more to do than just say “I’m sorry”. If the repentance is genuine, then I think the person who is sinned against must forgive, if they expect to be forgiven by God for the things they repent of.

Today’s passage is very much about how we should live, in the light that our time on earth is limited and all that is of this earth will be destroyed. This will indeed be terrible, for much that is beautiful will be seen to be as ephemeral: the valley I took this photo will end, just like the lupins that flower at this time, or the rabbits hiding from the harrier hawks in the hills.

Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn! But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells.

Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures. You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, take care that you are not carried away with the error of lawless people and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

(2 Peter 3:11-18 ESV)

How should we live? Faithfully. We should support ourselves and, men, this includes supporting our families. Women, that includes trusting that man who has vowed to protect and provide for you. It means being humble, frugal, careful, quiet, godly, and serving your spouse, children and kirk. (This applies to men and women differently, for men and women are different. One son was discussing his sister today, and considered what it would be to be like her. He found the thoughts difficult and very distressing).

We should not fear our differences. We should celebrate when all nations and races kneel as one in adoration of our LORD and God. We need not fear, for God is in control.

Particularly when the elite theologians and politicians tell us to fear.

In our misunderstandings of what it is to be Man, we’ve come to fear masculinity. We see it as brutish and severe and something to be contained. Only, it’s not on us to contain. It’s not on us to decide, from our feminine minds, what masculinity is. And because we’ve done that for the past several decades, we now have an underlying fear of men. In some cases, this fear is healthy. Only, we’ve carried it so far as to have some fear of our husbands as well.

We fear their decisions that would be different than our own. We fear what they might do to our bodies should we give them freely. We fear their confidence, their expectations of us, we even fear their respect because we don’t truly understand it. We even sometimes fear their word. It’s time to stop this. These men are the ones who have vowed to love and cherish us, forsaking all others, for the rest of their lives. They deserve our trust and our understanding. Not only our understanding of them personally, but our understanding of what it is to be a Man.

Some will say, why should we do this? Why shouldn’t they be more like women and understand us? We’ve tried that now. We’ve tried it for at least 4 decades and it isn’t working. Women are reportedly more unhappy than ever before and men are (understandably) fleeing from ever getting married. When we strive to understand masculinity and our men (as much as we can. There are things that will always be beyond us), our families, our children and we as women tend to be happier. When there are times of needing feminine perspective, it is time to go to other women. To go to them to learn what is going on.

We all need to do a little repenting and a lot of forgiving. Some of this will be getting rid of anger for historical slights: the German will have to forgive the Kiwi for bombing Dresden, and the Jew will have to forgive the German for the Shoah. We need to remember that most men love and care for women, and most women want to love and care for men, and both men and women care for their children. We need to encourage each other to truly care for each other, and not consider the other gender as a mere object for hedonic pleasure. For, yes, some times the other race, the other gender will hurt us deeply.

And we will hurt others. But to twist the words of scripture to find a justification for our prejudices is unworthy of the calling we have, and unwise. It speaks to a certain sense of imbalance among us. And a society that divides on these lines will fail and fall. As will a church.

So let the secular world do what they ought. The times are bleak. We need to support each other, across whatever divisions that others place upon us.

For Christ will make us one: he will make us righteous. It will not be our doing, and it will be wonderful in his sight.