Oh dear. Another one of those passages I would rather avoid. This one is marked as somewhat unreliable as it is placed in various places in early manuscripts, but it is fairly important, because it gets to the guts of sexual ethics and how to handle them. And the principle here is not to stone unless righteous, but not to give sin a pass either.

At present we set our standards too low, and we tend to accept the externalities: at times saying that divorce is better than working through the difficulties of a marriage. Well as one who has had a divorce, I pray it is not the death of my soul, but I know my soul was damaged during this period.

You mentioned “death of the soul” and I think that is the “cross to bear” that some bring up. “Well, that is just his lot in life–he will have to suck it up”. I don’t necessarily agree with it but don’t have better answers either. It just comes across as heartless and no empathy. I like that Elspeth admitted that a lot of marriages will just be slogging through to the finish line cause that is an honest answer that men need to take into consideration when they marry. That a slogging marriage life could very well be them.

“Is divorce really a much greater sin than rendering a man into a “dead man walking”?”
There was a discussion recently on another blog about whether divorce is the unforgivable sin, after all murderers can be forgiven and Christianity is a religion about redemption. So, I get your point and people do love their metrics! We base success on a number of how long someone has been married. No matter if its been 30 years of misery, they made it 30 years! That is a sad sort of success in my book and something to mourn really than celebrate.

When you read the bible you always read it in the context of what is happening: I’m reading this having seen this yesterday. I think of the pharisees as somewhat wooden people trying to set Christ up with a nasty test case. Let us find a women having sex with another husband: we have a right to stone her, but he seems to like women so let us see what he does.

Jesus managed to deal with this by implying if you stone this woman, you will have to be stoned… next.

They went each to his own house,but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?” This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”

(John 7:53-8:11 ESV)

So Christ was merciful. Praise God. But this does not mean that we are not responsible nor accountable. We should not push the mercy of God. We have clear teaching on this issue, which includes the need to be chaste at all times.

And many of us struggle here. I do. It is difficult, but we need to obey. We need encouragement, and men need their brothers in Christ, women their sisters in Christ here.

But saying this does not exist or it is unfair, as Hearthie notes, is to use the logic of a toddler.

If you’re not a Christian, I’m going to explain what I’d do, what’s important to me, why it’s important, and leave you to it. You don’t play by my rules, you don’t care about my Referee, it’s a total waste of time to do anything but “well, this works – look how well it works when we play by the rules. And have you met the Ref?” You don’t want to play by my rules? Fine, there is *no reason* for me expect you to do so. Would this world be a better place if you did? Yes. Oh well, that’s life.

If you’re a Christian, and you’re stuck in a hard place, and you’re resolved to obey but daaaang it’s hard and it hurts – you’re going to get compassion. I’ll pray for you. I’ll offer helpful tips. I’ll smile and hold your hand and hug you and help you as much as I can. I’ve been in some gnarly places, and I know how bad it can be. It’s cool. That’s why we’re a *family* of believers, right? You need a sister? You’ve got one.

If you’re a Christian, but you don’t want to obey… well, I’ve got no time for that. Suck it up, buttercup. You *know* what the Bible says (and if you don’t, I’m happy to give you chapter and verse). You don’t want to obey God? Well, that’s between you and Him.

I assume – until proven otherwise – that most of the folks I meet fall into one of the first two categories, and I give my all to be a light and an encouragement. I *like* encouraging people. God made me for that, it feels like being a conduit of joy… seriously, I’ve got alllll the time in the world to do this, I love it so much. If you need a friend, if you need a help, if you need a reminder how to find Home… please. I’d love to help.

But. If you’re being a wilful brat, as far as I’m concerned you’re making the whole family look bad. Get over yourself and call me when you’re done with your tantrum.

The teaching on this issue is clear. Using hard cases, or unhappiness, or setting up some kind of human tragedy to make a precedent that somehow absolves us of our duty is a gross error and foolishness.

Need we remind ourselves that children are safest in general when living with the father who sired them, and the mother who borne them? Yes, I know about exceptions. I spend most of my clinical time dealing with the fallout from them. But we should not teach the memes of the nomenklatura. They damage. Christ gives life.