There are a couple of articles worth reading today… Dalrock cites Stephen Baskerville’s brilliant analysis of the modern divorce industry in the US — and argues that Anger is an appropriate response to injustice. Which it is… but he is being told to shut up, be silent, and let the system crunch through a few more families. But then Flavia steps to the plate and she gives the end-game.
To the man in the divorce. Leave. You don’t know your children anyway. South Korea has no extradition laws and any semi attractive Caucasian man that speaks English can land a good job at a university teaching business or English. You will get laid like tile and have a lot of income. Leave. Leave. Leave. When you children are 18 have them set up a bank account and give them money. Leave. Leave.
LEAVE! Or your life will be ruined. Leave today.
Now, this is the modern end game. Men leave. Children are unprotected. Not my circumstances — I’m raising my boys — but I have seen this many times.
And it really does not matter what you do. You can be loving, caring, faithful… but divorce is unilateral. Using not divorced as a metric for faithfulness does not work when the laws and practices are against you. An example of this is that OTC looked at the data and tried to generalise @ TC a couple of days ago.
What I’m curious to know is how nominal, active, and non-nominal are defined, and if they were defined before the results were produced. I could take a group of people, find out their divorce status, and then define the three categories retroactively so it gets the results I wanted. But I’m suspicious about everything these days, when someone’s trying to sell me something.
It also matters how the numbers are presented- by showing them as a % deviation from a baseline (and what is that baseline?) then it hides the absolute rate, which is still pretty high as Dalrock points out. Not to mention percentage changes can be done in two different modes, as a fixed percentage, or some percentage of another number. (As in: If the divorce rate is currently 50% and goes down by 50%, is it now 25% or 0%? The ambiguity is almost always taken advantage of for a reason.)
Question – does everyone here considers themselves “active”? That’s great, but why is there no shortage of divorced folks posting here? Shouldn’t there be almost none, then?
The reason that we have a high divorce rate is that laws we have encourage it. Simple economics: if you want more of a behaviour, pay for it. The no-fault (unilateral) and assumption of female child care built into US law means that men are kicked out of the family home, asked to pay draconian child support, have limited access to their children… and no motivation to stay around. For the kids are gone, and their income has gone to.
At this point, Korea looks good. Russia looks good. New Zealand would look good apart from the fact we let the FBI imprison people for four months on allegations (your tax dollars at work) that may not even meet our criteria for extradition.
But there is another model. And that is Germany. Where men just assume any feminist is not worthy of a Long Term relationship. Again, from Alte…
Germany is split into homemaking mothers of 2 or 3 and childless career women. Not much in-between. In the rest of Europe, most women have one or two children, so the birth rate ends up similar but more women have children. Germany has concentrated on pro-natalist policies, rather than work-life balance.
The men there just seem uninterested in marrying feminists. They don’t see the point, as you can just sleep with them and then dump them when you’re finished.
Well, she lived there. She elaborated.
And most German women do not know this?
Sure, they know. They don’t care, as they don’t want to get married and give up their day jobs. They prefer p-n-d or serial monogamy to marriage, with its attending responsibilities and expectations. German husbands are high-maintenance in comparison to American ones (I should know, heh). German women usually have a hard choice: marriage and babies or career, not both.
That. Ladies is the endgame of feminism. Either committing to a husband, Kinder, Kitchen und Kurke (Children, the Kitchen (Home) and the Church) and be fanatical in caring for him so he does not stray or finding that you are unmarried, at 40, and no one who is within a decade of you will have an affair with you.
Or watch men leave. Go native. Elsewhere.
Regardless, this is the endgame for most women. You can choose to be a feminist, be single, and have intermittent affairs and a long term relationship with your shoes, bags and cat.
Or you can choose to be a crunchy, traditionalist woman and choose a crunchy, traditional man, raise kids, and fervently pray together that the end game does not continue its demographic conclusion.
Akismet is now deactiveated. Thanks for the email on this… can you try again?
I don’t think it got into the system… I can’t find it.
Sometimes multiple links means it triggers akismet — but if you are spammed out you should have an email about that
I think my comment was stuck in moderation? I was having trouble posting.
Bogans love tattoos. This is Peter Siddle, who is an Australian Cricket Player, with the classic Australian Bogan tattoo, the Southern Cross.
BF, the chick in the photo actually is Chinese
Oh, I knew [but don't ask me to identify South-East Asians. Heck, I probably couldn't even point to South-East Asian on a map]. Well, I knew she wasn’t Japanese. I would have guessed Cantonese/Taiwanese; they’re slightly darker than mainland Chinese-folks [or it might just be because they tan; Hong Kong has a tropical climate. I didn't know that until I went to Hong Kong...if I could properly read maps, I would have noticed it's located near the equator. At least, I think it is]
I was alluding to Dalrock’s article and the comments. The attitude among his commenters is often “Asians are flawed pagans!” but when divorce comes into play “Asian countries respect men and have fair divorce laws!”
It’s confusing. I’m either an evil pagan feminist that drives men to become asexual herbivores, or a “me-love-young-long-time” submissive wife.
Concerning cooking, here’s a lulzy article: http://www.cnngo.com/explorations/eat/japanese-cooking-and-housewife-culture-289273
“Shufuinjapan” is a 30-year-old New Zealander who married a Japanese man and blogs about her experiences as a gaijin housewife in Japan.
Hey, her blog has photos: cute photos. And she has the Kiwi dry sense of humour, together with our need to help
She agrees “there is a constant stream of pressure from all angles for women to become mothers, which by default means being housewives, unless they are lucky enough to have access to childcare and an understanding employer.”
In her view, Japanese companies are not sympathetic to women who wish to balance work and home life.
Moreover, the PTA (Parent Teach Association) forces mothers into volunteer positions that take up as many hours as a full-time job. All this “leaves them no choice but to quit their jobs and focus on becoming the Super Shufu,” she says.
Summed up as: “Why aren’t Japanese women leaving their children in daycare and pursuing careers!?” “These housewives are wasting their time taking cooking classes, they could be climbing the corporate ladder!”
*laughs* Are all women in New Zealand like that?
Only half. The other half are smoking weed with their 20th partner & their three to five kids, raising the next generation of bogans.
BF, your beloved is a lucky man. You are a lucky woman. Don’t frak it up.
& bring shame to my family? *shudders*
Ah. Giri. Should have known.
This post frustrates me. I’m not sure why the Christian blogosphere expresses so much animosity towards Japanese culture, because lately it seems like Japan is the only country that is getting things right [I mean, Dalrock's comments can basically be summed up as "move to Asia"]
Also, you shouldn’t just assume traditionalism is the solution to modern men’s problems. [like Hestia] I’ve noticed a disturbing entitlement complex among modern female traditionalist. Hestia explained it well: http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/05/12/conservative-misandry/
Men are people with feelings , they aren’t servants God created to cater to your every need.
Awhile ago, I had been criticized for expressing fear that my [future] husband will work himself to death. I wasn’t being hysterical – that’s a legitimate phenomenon in Japan; it’s call “Karoshi”. I want to have one or two children, and live a modest life. Following the typical western traditionalist script just seems too callous to me.
PS:
I might do a blogpost-series about the lack of support churches [and parishioners] give to young engaged/married couples. My fiance’s church is supportive; however, outside of his church we’ve encountered animosity from Christians [including self-professed "traditionalists"]. My fiance is in his late 20′s – he’s been called a cradle robber, and worse. We’ve also been told “you’re too young to get married, you’ll just end up divorced” [I guess we're supposed to wait until our 30's?] I think Haley’s blogpost about the young Christian husband that was astonished his marriage lasted a year, is the result of all the extreme pessimism being directed at young Christian couples. “You’ll inevitably mess-up! Marriages are doomed to be miserable! You’ll struggle not to divorce your spouse!” Um, yeah. Thanks wise elders, you really know how to prepare young Christians for marriage.
BF, the chick in the photo actually is Chinese. the link is to how the current generation are trying to learn to cook from their grandparents and great-grandparents because their mothers did not bother.
Not Japanese. I was looking, actually for Korean, because Flavia recommended to men to go there (not Japan) saying that they would find a nice subservient wife. (At this point I’m quietly giggling. I was married Chinese. I know plenty of Koreans. Went to university with some Japanese. Subservient? No. Beautiful, feminine, ballsy… Yes. I think Flavia is projecting the “nice Asian doll” overmuch).
Besides, I’m more worried about what is happening to people around your age. The daughter has morphed into a stay at home mum (three kids do that to you, but the boys have yet to navigate the shoals and reefs of dating. And I want them to meet women who will choose to be wives, and be in churches that support marriage, in countries where the family court is not noxious.
Yes, I’m selfish
BF, your beloved is a lucky man. You are a lucky woman. Don’t frak it up.
Lesson for US men be more like German men.
Be demanding. Make women make choices and not have the best of both worlds.
Don’t settle for used up cargo..
I have more respect for Germany after reading this, well except their affinity for Mr. Hasselhoff.