Tag Archives: honesty

On works (and love).

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I slept in this morning. I woke up, and rolled over. I stumbled out of bed at the same time Church was starting. (This is not difficult: the kirk community I belong to meets at 8:30 AM).

Talked to  the boys when they woke. We will go tonight… but looking at today’s readings. the vexed issue of works rises up again.

I John 2. 10,11

Whoever loves a brother or sister lives in the light, and in such a person there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates another believer is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and does not know the way to go, because the darkness has brought on blindness

via Daily Lectionary Readings — Devotions and Readings — Mission and Ministry — GAMC.

This is where we have to be so careful. We must be honest, discreet, wise, trustworthy and caring. The term love here implies wanting the best for everyone.

This is extremely hard. You have to let the fruit of bitterness and hurt go: if you want the best for a person — indeed someone who has deeply hurt you — you have to lose the hurt. This has been taken by some to mean that we should not be honest about the hurt.

I commented to a friend that I find it hard to go to places where my ex habitually goes and I used to go because it raises in me feelings of anger, resentment and bitterness. This includes the church where she used to go. When I visit that town, I worship with my parents. Elsewhere. Fellowshipping with her is hard.

I’m aware of the problems she has now and I hope that she can sort them out. I have offered to help her… .even though we are divorced, they would impact on me and the lads.  I truly hope that she finds happiness in celibacy or with someone else.  But it has taken four years to reach that point.

And we cannot drag our darkness into the light. We have to let it go.

Honest, No weasel

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This is from a man who has chosen to live his life by a righteous code. He used to be what he called “An average married chump” and I would call “A nice guy”.

I was a liar. A dishonest weasel. I lied all the time. Most all of it was so-called “white lies.” And it wasn’t just in relation to my wife, but with my peer group, my work-place colleagues and school classmates…everyone.This was because I lived my life afraid to upset other people. I tried to always find what I mistakenly thought of as the path of least resistance. To use dishonesty to avoid conflict. For instance, if I were invited to participate in something I did not care to, I would scramble for a convenient excuse — A LIE — instead of being honest and straightforward and saying, “no thanks, I’m not interested in doing that.

Fear is never seen as attractive, confident or in control. Honestly is seen as a form of mastery. But you have to have a sense of self integrity to allow this to work. He continues…

The real problem with that is when you spin webs of deceit, you eventually get tangled up and caught. It is inevitable if your whole social life is based on trying to avoid upsetting people by lying to them. And from the perspective of the woman you are having a relationship with, it is the ultimate respect-killer.

He then continues to talk about being a leader — or being a loser. IF you want to be a leader, be honest, unapologetically honest. IF you want to be a leader, be discreet,.

As I wrote earlier though, being honest doesn’t mean you have to tell everyone everything. Circumspect discretion is the easiest means of maintaining a code of living honestly.

Not a gossip, not a weasel. Be responsible. Be a man (or woman) of integrity.

via Hawaiian libertarian: The Primary Trait of the AMC: Fearful Dishonesty.