Daily Archives: December 18, 2011

Cats, pray, diet.

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Another misandric cartoon

Dalrock has a thread up on divorce and post marital spinsterhood. Go over and read it, but I want to start with one of the comments.  Sweet As hits the topic out of the park.

One thing that I point out to my 30-something and older single friends is that they are likely going to have to date older, which may also mean giving up on things that they might have wanted.

Dating an older man means that you will get marriage and stability. You might even catch a particularly wealthy older man, which is “even better.”

But, you will not get children (in most cases). And, you will not get a lot of respect (you will be seen as a gold-digger). And, you will not get everything eventually in the will (the kids from previous wife will make sure of that).

You also have to realize that he will die before you. it likely won’t be while you are still young. You stay married until he dies, you might lose the “gold digger” title, but you’ll be in your 60s and 70s and you probably won’t be getting your groove back. Or, if you do, it has to be with older men again. I’ll likely still be trucking along with my husband, who is about my age. Because, he’ll probably die in his 90s. Like me.

I have two sets of comments on this. Firstly. to the Ladies. By older, Sweet As is talking 10 to 20 years older. That makes sense. I’m 51 — and over 35 is attractive (20 is not).  But I will probably not make it past 80. I have but 30 years. So if you are in your 30s, you will be a widow in your 60s.

And the corollary is that if you want kids, you better be prepared to breed as soon as you are wed. And for goodness sake, be pleasant. We may forgive 10 kilos of weight, but I want someone who is basically sane and pleasant.

For men… you cannot rely on any woman to keep you healthy. You can predict that you will be done if she lives in the US. Keoni has a story that needs sharing here.

One guy’s story is especially maddening.

He came home one day because a job had gotten rained out, only to find the mother of his two children getting her ass nailed to the bed by their neighbor. He went nuts punching holes in the wall and breaking things (but never touched her) while the neighbor ran out of the house. The cops got called and he ended up getting arrested for domestic violence.

She ended up with the house and a child support settlement.

He drives an old beat up pickup truck, she drives a lexus.

He lives in a small apartment, she a three bedroom house in an upper middle class property in suburbia, and her never employed loser boyfriend lives with her and the two kids.

She hasn’t had any kind of job in 20 years. He’s essentially paying her to live a comfortable life for her and her live-in surf bum fuckbuddy.

She gets 60% of his unemployment check, forcing him to find under-the-table work just to pay his own rent, food and transportation bills.

She regularly denies him visitation. He’s filed more petitions than he can count to force her to allow him time with the kids he’s supposed to have under their court adjudicated divorce settlement. They never enforce her violations of his visitation rights. The only thing he ever gets told is to file another petition. He finally gave up in frustration.

His son is now in his late teens…and he, like so many other boys raised in the typical broken home of our brave new world order, has gone off the rails and gotten involved in petty crimes, drugs and is now in rehab.

And now the ex-wife is telling him that once the boy turns 18, she thinks it would be better for the boy to come live with him in his one bedroom apartment.

As I was saying, you can’t rely on a woman to keep yourself healthy. Now kids are not stupid, and if they have contact with their dad and are allowed to be there, and she is crazy, she will be the one alone with the cats. The surfer boyfriend will find another to breed off.

Girls, stay with the one you already have, and look after him. Men are fairly simple and the good ones will not stray. We (that is men) tend to fall in love, you know. And most of us like women and being around women. It is this environment which is toxic, for women as much as men.

But what do, if you are divorced and male? Or a young man?

  1. Get your kids out from under. Teach the rules. Raise them. It will cost money, but that is something you can get.. or my rule one: Do not have sex with a woman unless you are prepared to raise her children.
  2. Choose where you live wisely. The US is bad. The UK may be worse. (It is the judges that matter, not who his the Prime Minister or President). The court is not your friend. Which leads to rule two Never go out with a woman from North America.
  3. Look after yourself. Eat right — cook from scratch more meals than you eat out. Go to the gym. Do something, each day. Get a family doctor — who will inevitabely put you on meds for Blood sugar, cholesterol or blood pressure. No not turn to booze or new booty for comfort. Let her develop the substance problem instead, because Living well is the best revenge.
  4. If you are anything like me, you have an ability to fall in lust virtually instantly and once your little head is engaged, your ability to ascertain your partner’s qualities go out the window. I am no saint: but there is a wisdom in avoiding the meat market. You need to think about your finances, hers, and how the kids will react. They do not want serial aunties. Wait until you are married minded. then don’t date, court. And (obviously) do not marry in the noxiously misandric states, nor live there.
  5. If you hold in long enough, then you will be a grandparent. And being a granddad is golden.

The game is not that long. There are phases in our lives. You cannot breed forever, you will not be a parent forever, and you won’t be around forever, Keoni’s workmate should be honoured, for he is trying to support his children, and Sweet As is speaking the truth to the sisterhood.

And yes, we all need to pray, There is nothing wrong with love, But we need to get our physical health under control — diet, not eat, and stability not some form of romantic instability…  for someone is going to have to correct the dysfunction of this generation. And it ain’t going to be the single mommas.

 

 

Advent prophecies.

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One of the things that happens in reformed churches is that we hold to the lectionary lightly. Today we had a sermon on the song of Simeon. This is the lectionary for today: it is the Magnificant. Not Nunc Dimittis.. But that is the nature of us… we moved ahead to talk about Simeon.


Jesus Presented at the Temple

22 And rwhen the time came for their purification according to the Law of Moses, they brought him up to Jerusalem sto present him to the Lord 23 (as it is written in tthe Law of the Lord, u“Every male who first opens the womb shall be called holy to the Lord”) 24 and to offer a sacrifice according to what is said in tthe Law of the Lord, v“a pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.” 25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon, and this man was wrighteous and xdevout, ywaiting for zthe consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26 And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not asee death before he had seen bthe Lord’s Christ. 27 And he came in the Spirit into the temple, and when cthe parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the Law, 28 he took him up in his arms and dblessed God and said,

29 “Lord, now you are letting your servant4 depart ein peace, faccording to your word; 30 for gmy eyes have seen your salvation 31 ithat you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, 32 ja light for revelation to the Gentiles, and kfor glory to lyour people Israel.”

Now one of the men of the church, who is studying theology preached today. He talked about how Simeon and Anna were both righteous and old. They had lived their entire life in prayer, waiting for a poor couple (the sacrifice is the one the poor people gave for purification of the woman. (For those who do not “get this” you had to be ritually pure to enter the congregation of the temple…. and you had to be of a certain tribe to lead the worship, and of a certain family to be a priest. And everyone could not have had sex, nor be menstruating, not have just had a child, nor have touched a dead body… to be in the temple). There are rituals and symbols, and this was one for women). For they were led to the messiah.

What we then talked about was that Simeon told Mary that a sword would pierce her heart also. As Jesus suffered, his mother hurt. This seems to be a universal: when a child is in difficulty the father may be angry, sad, and grieving, but he generally can harden himself and do what is right. The mother… sees the babe she bore, and nursed, and her heart breaks. Mary was going to have to see Jesus on the cross.

But the lectionary is a balance, for it is the Magnificat, and the beginning of the incarnation. It is quite interesting to look at what Mary actually said.

Luke 1:26-38

26In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, 27to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” 29But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. 30The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. 31And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. 32He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. 33He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” 34Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” 35The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. 36And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. 37For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Luke 1:47-55

46b My soul magnifies the Lord,
47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
50 His mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
51 He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
52 He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
and lifted up the lowly;
53 he has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
55 according to the promise he made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and to his descendants forever.”

Some points:

  • Mary may have been poor, and living in Galilee (the hillbilly part of Palestine) but she was not stupid. She knew sex was needed for babies, and she was a virgin. The question she asked… “How can this happen?” only makes sense of we take the usual meaning of that term: she had not had sex. I am sure that then, as now, many young women get pregnant in the usual way — the liberal interpretation of this word is “young woman” — but that does not explain why the angel talks about Elizabeth, who had found herself pregnant when post menopausal.
  • The Magnificat talks about Mary’s personal saviour. (which is why the reformed would say that Mary was, like all humans, not sinless). But then she expands on this.
  • The expansion of what it means to be saved has almost nothing to do with her. She is not talking about herself. She is talking about a scattering the proud, pulling down those in power, and feeding the hungry…
  • And she called herself blessed.

Mary did not lack courage. What she lacks in th s prayer is selfishness and pride. She gives all the glory to God… and she accepts the pain that is to come.

Because Advent is not the end of the good news. It is but the beginning. There is a child of God in the world. He has to survive (for Herod tried to kill him),. grow up, and then… walk to his own death.  For only in breaking the power of sin is our salvation assured.

For Mary, like all mothers, had to let her child go. She could not keep him as a little boy forever, But most women do not have to see what she did: most women pray that they will not have to live through their child being in trouble or being ill, or burying their child. Mary became the mother watching her son on the cross. Mary watched her son being buried.

And Mary saw the joy of our salvation in his resurrection.