This could get ugly. so let’s start with the lectionary for today.
Matthew 24:45-51
45″Who then is the faithful and wise slave, whom his master has put in charge of his household, to give the other slaves their allowance of food at the proper time? 46Blessed is that slave whom his master will find at work when he arrives. 47Truly I tell you, he will put that one in charge of all his possessions. 48But if that wicked slave says to himself, ‘My master is delayed,’ 49and he begins to beat his fellow slaves, and eats and drinks with drunkards, 50the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour that he does not know. 51He will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
There is a clear duty for those who lead the truth to feed us sheep good teaching (Yes, I know I mixed metaphors) and to not oppress us. I don’t think anyone could disagree here.
But I want to talk about two memes that are not good teaching. Both these ideas flourished among the monks and mystics during the height of the counter reformation, and have led to great art. But both have dangers.
The first is “Jesus is my boyfriend or husband”. There is a truth here — for the church is his bride, and this period of history is akin to the betrothal, and the final coming together is described by John in Revelation. But this is not sexual. As Jesus pointed out to the Sadducees, in heaven we will not marry or be given in marriage. Yet there are so many songs that are sappy… about how much we are in love with Jesus.
Jesus should not be the object of one’s romantic interests. The celibate may dedicate their lives to christ, but that is a different and more noble kind of love. Yet many women who are randy seem to compare their husband (who is flawed) with an image of Jesus (which changes with their needs or feelings). No man can compete with God, but the romantically falling for God does make a guy jealous and the women contemptous.
Besides, the Jesus is my boyfriend songs… to any heterosexual male… are creepy. I wanna girlfriend, not some spiritual form of buggery.
Our error is to see Mary as our girlfriend. This is wrong on so many levels. Firstly, If Mary was around, she would have been offended as she was married. To Joseph (who no one talks about, but deserves honour as well, for he protected Mary). Secondly, Mary is not divine (the divine mother is a pagan idea.) We should honour her, yes… but honour is not knightly love. Thirdly, in our heads Mary did not piss, fart, and the monks even said that she gave birth without pain. That ain’t a woman: and no woman can compete with that image.
What we are called to be is celibate: to hold ourselves either single and continent (or if randy, to marry, and joyfully and with great pleasure share the pleasures of the marital bed with that one person). There is no sin in marrying. There is a sin in comparing our spouuse with somoone better.
Mary is not my girlfriend. She was the wife of Joseph, and the mother of Jesus, James and his brothers and sisters.
And Jesus bride is to come. He is not a boyfriend.
