I guess today I am dealing with some points that have come up in the last few days. There has been an ongoing argument in the comments… if did increase my traffic, and I’m aware there are two people who are both sincere, and both really exasperated with each other.

One is doubting if there is such a thing as faith. In the endi I Commented to both of them…

[T}he elect can and will struggle with the LORD. We trust in his keeping us sheep safe, because we will sniff the air and stray. To correct a brother or sister to they return is indeed a good thing… and getting the balance of being true and being heard is really difficult.

Which is quite Christianese. Fortunately Peter says it better

1 Peter 1:3-12

3Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5who are being protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have had to suffer various trials, 7so that the genuineness of your faith — being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire — may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

10Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied of the grace that was to be yours made careful search and inquiry, 11inquiring about the person or time that the Spirit of Christ within them indicated when it testified in advance to the sufferings destined for Christ and the subsequent glory. 12It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in regard to the things that have now been announced to you through those who brought you good news by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven — things into which angels long to look!

Gospel Matthew 19:3-12

3Some Pharisees came to him, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?” 4He answered, “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7They said to him, “Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?” 8He said to them, “It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery.”

10His disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11But he said to them, “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given. 12For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”

via Daily Lectionary Readings — Devotions and Readings — Mission and Ministry — GAMC.

This leads to a few points…

1. We are assured of our salvation. There are those who are not saved in the Church, and not everyone will be saved — but those who are chosen of God will, by the Spirit, be led into faith. I love Alte’s testimony (which I think is on her closed (old) website, so I will paraphrase) — her boyfriend was a hardcore athiest and threw a Bible at her, saying it was full of superstition and rubbish. She started reading it, realised it made sense, and returned to the faith.
2. Virginity is precious. This is implied in the final comment from Jesus.. If one can remain chaste and contintent, this is a great blessing (because you will drive your spouse crazy. You are flawed. You are human. In this fallen state,you will have to discipline yourself in marriage to care for your partner more than for yourself.
3. Singleness for the Church is precious. Us Protestants tend to forget this, but there is a place for the person who dedicates themselves completely to Christ — what our Catholic friends call the vocations. Marriage is not compulsory (in fact, for those who are divorced, there are some who say that marriage is not allowed). And some of us simply can’t stand the other gender. Instead of falling into the arms of Narcissus (and homosexual sin) we should allow those men and women to be single and support them in this.  Being camp and what Ann Coulter once called “fabulous” is no sin. Being single is no sin.
4. Divorce is a sin but for… and here I am thinking of why the word uncleanliness is used. The reformed position is only for adultery and abandonment, and then one should try to reconcile. What I’m specualting is that if you are married to a person who refuses reconciliation, who continually compromises you in manners that are indeed serious sin so that your soul is being poisoned then one should separate. But remain chaste, and try to reconcile.

There is something about a hardness of heart in divorce that does not go away. As someone who is divorced but single, I find I miss being married. There are parts of the relationship that I have extremely fond memories about (and no, not all of them are rude). But there was a poison there before she left me, of (mutual) dishonesty and contempt.  And when I tried to change the rules in the relationship to save it she walked.  I hate the damage this has doen financially,spiritually and to my boys.

But some people poison those around them. Some people in the church are evil. And advising their spouses requires wisdom. For we need to ensure that the poison of our wrongdoing and hardness does not get transmitted from generation to generation.  The ideal solution is repentance and reconciliation.

And I am shamed to say that this did not work for me, for it takes two to walk together.