My thoughts here started with the comment from Alte. She commented
Yeah, I don’t care either. Notice I have not been reporting on it. It’s all irrelevant. Legal marriage is totally and permanently dead. Over. Done for. The RCC needs to stop defending it, and start boycotting it.
Take a stand on something, Mother Church.
The legalization of gay marriage will lead to the church being persecuted. Brendan described this well.
Of course, it will mean marginalization of anyone who doesn’t agree with homosexual behavior, for moral or other reasons. That’s also inevitable, as religious institutions are increasingly marginalized by the elite, culture-producing class. Soon, people holding private opinions against the morality of homosexual behavior will be treated as racists are treated today — basically as social lepers. A lot, and I mean a LOT, of persecution is coming for Christians who believe homosexual activity is sinful, at least in the broad, popular, elite-produced culture (not in the Christian enclaves). But that, too, was inevitable. The culture has moved decisively in favor of sexual immorality of every kind — which of course is going to place it on a collision course with Christianity.
In summary, the whole culture is down the rabbit hole when it comes to sexual morality. The gay piece is a very small part of that puzzle. The rest of it is so far gone as to be unrecoverable in any recognizable sense, and the staunch opposition to gay marriage is really motivated, to a large degree, by the frustrations with the previous cultural losses concerning straight folks, which are, of course, far more numerically impactful in terms of the decline of sexual mores in the US than what gays and lesbians are doing.
So yeah, I don’t care much. I don’t think gay marriage is “marriage”, the way I understand it. But I don’t think the culture supports any Christian definition of anything relating to sex and marriage any longer anyway
This is already happening in Canada.
My question, is what should the church do? How should the church advise their young people? The older people who come into the church single? Those who divorce?
My understanding on divorce is less hard core than the traditional Catholics (there is no divorce, but legal separation). I accept divorce for two reasons: adultery and abandonment with the children staying with the party harmed, unless it is plainly obvious that that person is an unfit parent.
So, if you follow your lusts and cheat, you lose the family. If you abandon them, you lose the family. You are shunned.
But this is not how the law works. The law — and all the social apparatus that the state has, is based on two ideologies
- The best interests of the child.
- The avoidance of (male) (perceived) violence.
In practice, particularly in the US and UK, the laws favour women. If a woman cheats, she will keep her family, her income and her children. She will just lose the husband she is betraying anyway. This situation has led both Alte and Brendan to say that marraige is dead in our society.
What to do? I do have some ideas…
- Have rules around Godly courting and enforce them. The simple rule here is you don’t let the courting couple be alone until they are married, therefore enforcing a ‘hands outside clothes and away from the zones’ rule. This means that the church has to commit to chaperonage.
- Encourage early marriage, and therefore early financial independence for men. With the exception of the scholars and professional trades (medicine and theology: the law is for Whigs, and the first Whig was the Devil) young men should be apprenticed into family business and encouraged to get journeyman status by their early 20s, and marry in their late 20s. Women should have a training in a practical art (teachers college and nursing school) or a trade (with the exception of the artistic, who may, in wealthy families, do a practical arts degree) and marry around the age of 21 or 22. That means there will be about a four or five year age gap.
- Measure divorce. Divide it into three groups: adultery, abandonment and rebellion (or divorce for any other reason). Make a divorce an event of shame for the church, who should have encouraged the couple to stay together.
- Keep the state away. Refuse state funding, and state tax exemptions. Refuse to report events. Refuse to engage with the family court and child support bureacracy.
- Encourage repentance and then remarriage. In the event of a man or woman suffering a divorce, get a person of the same gender to (a) make them accountable for remaining celibate (b) examine and correct behaviour that led to the marraige falling apart (including not being assertive enough for the man) and then to remarry, particularly if they have difficulties remaining continent as a single person. Again Keep the courts out of it. The divorce should be breifly mentioned in church and the death of the marraige mourned for. This should be shameful for the person remaining, and for the whole congregation. Dalrocks idea of a sign is important.
- Accept singleness. Some people just aren’t interested. Some are gay, and struggle but accept a celibate lifestyle. And some become widows or divorced and don’t want to date, being content to be alone. Let them. There is no need to be married.
And finally, let the rest of society live by their standards. We can demand Godly standards within the house of God, but outside… we need to associate with our neighbours.
But not let our children marry, except among the fellowship of congregations that follow these or similar rules.
UPDATE.
Will says that I should link to Dalrock;s post on measuring divorce. He’s right, so I have.