Brandon, Manitoba
We fear the wrong things in our society. We fear anger, we fear male aggression. We allow licentiousness and eschew any restrictions on women;s behaviour. this is wrong. Grerp has a formulation that all women should learn:
Life isn’t fair. Being alive doesn’t entitle you to anything. Women are ensuring their own downfall with their selfish behavior and short-term outlook. Men are bigger than women, stronger than women, and more violent than women. For the past half century our legal system has acted outside their interests, and men have taken the vast share of economic hits in this most recent “recession.” A backlash is coming. The pendulum is starting to swing back. What are you going to do to prepare for it?
Now, there are a lot of people out there campaigning against violence. Particularly against women. At the same time women are told that they can do anything, wear anything, and act in any manner without consequences.
Now… Anger is an emotion. Anger is good. When a child is brutalized,. we are angry, and disgusted (this happened over Christmas here. You don’t want to read the comments on the right wing blogs). When women get hurt, men get angry: particularly when some thug “friend” tries to monster yourster (yes. Happened. And she met him at church, and it was 30 years ago. People don’t change).
Paul says we are to control our emotions. All of them.
17 Now this I affirm and insist on in the Lord: you must no longer live as the Gentiles live, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of their ignorance and hardness of heart. 19 They have lost all sensitivity and have abandoned themselves to licentiousness, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 That is not the way you learned Christ! 21 For surely you have heard about him and were taught in him, as truth is in Jesus. 22 You were taught to put away your former way of life, your old self, corrupt and deluded by its lusts, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to clothe yourselves with the new self, created according to the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
25 So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. 26 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not make room for the devil. 28 Thieves must give up stealing; rather let them labour and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy. 29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. 31 Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, 32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
If one allows oneself to continually be in a state of desire (well, lust) you lose your sensitivity. Consider the sad case of Katie Price, aged before her years and now unable to see anything but as a model. You can’t see beauty if everything is sexualised. You cannot work with men (or women) if the only lever you use is your sexuality. Most of us can and do treat co workers as akin to our sisters. Part of that is not knowing about your boyfriend — we do not want that much information.
Now Anger is a fence. It’s good to have fences, to be aware that you are close to going into error. As such, we are told to deal with our anger promptly, not let it fester and grow into contempt, and to concentrate on building each other up.
Anger, like pain, is a signal something is wrong. And things are very wrong in our society. We have demonised the very aggressive instincts that in a functioning patriarchy keep everyone safe. Because aggression is channelled into honour and duty. And if we lose those, Ladies, our society will become barbarous and feral, and all women and children will become drudges and sluts for their warrior Lords. We should not have any illusions — life was nasty, brutish and short before civilisation, and it will be the same if this civilisation dies.
Anger is like fire, good when controlled properly and giving heat and light. And dangerous when out of control.
Like fire, it is a tool. We should not fear tools. We should control them
Thanks for the mention, Chris. I agree that anger is a very natural reaction. Sometimes I have to fight its inevitable progression into anxiety and despair. I work on this. All three emotions take their toll, so I try to take a lot of gratitude breaks; I find it helps.
I hope you had lovely holidays, and I wish all the best for you in 2012.
Thank you. Today I managed to drive around central Otago with one son: the other is spending the first half of his long summer break with his mother. I’m taking my holidays at the end of this week for about three weeks and intend to travel with both boys then.
Best wishes in keeping warm and for this year — it is summer, obviously, where I live
Brandon, the only city that sounds like some late 20th / early 21st century young dude’s name. (Okay, not quite the only one; there’s also Cody, Wyoming, to name another…)
Be nice. It does have a university, some elite private schools, and a Canadian Force Base. Plus lousy weather, at least every time I end up visiting