There have been a lot of comments about Ashley Madison, and in particularly a woman who has had quiet succor from this site while dealing with “a husband with cancer in a loveless marriage”.

And some people damned Dalrock for calling this out, saying he is not showing love. But the commentator Dragonfly gets to the nub of it: if you are not prepared to love your woman or man when they are sick and dying and unable to meet your needs DO NOT MARRY THEM. Because you will be challenged.

Things like infertility, miscarriage, job loss, mental illness, your kids having a hard time in school or enduring sickness, relocations, new jobs, new churches – anything that we may all face in one way or another, or help friends who are in that season. Do we keep a godly perspective on these things? Are we prepared to face them when life throws them our way?

Its been on my mind lately, how important it is that we are sowing in the different seasons of our lives, and not sitting stagnantly by in times of hardship, or when our cup is overflowing. Even in the most difficult times, we need to be actively sowing into our families things that we will eagerly await to reap when the time comes. It matters so much, what we choose to sow.

For that is what you have signed up to do. As she says, Marriage is not about butterflies and unicorns.

“The man is sick. It’s HIS emotional and sexual needs they should be focusing on; but she’s so blinded by her own selfishness she can’t or won’t do that. It’s a bitch and a half. It really is. But them’s the breaks. Marriage is hard, sometimes crushingly hard. People know (or should know) that going in. You don’t marry thinking it’s going to be rainbows and unicorns; you marry KNOWING it could be very, VERY hard sometimes.” So sad that this woman can’t and will not see this. It is incredible selfishness.

Source: Why won’t he hurry up and die already? | Dalrock

Woman, you are head in heels in love with your man. Great. But will you care for him when his body breaks, or, worse, he fails and fails mightily? His work disappears, his business fails, and his spirit breaks?

Man, your beloved is beautiful and gracious and sexy and wonderful. But are you prepared to look after her through illness? to deal with her concerns about her children (and if you marry, children you will probably have?) To comfort her when the pack turn against her? To guard her from the barbarian, to protect and provide when all you want to do is sleep and you are out of energy?

For you will be pushed way beyond what you think you can do. Particularly when the kids are young, and you have no sleep.

And if you are not prepared to vow for poorer and for illness, do your beloved a favour. Leave them. Walk away. For marriage, you are, like many in the West, unfit.