This is really a note for Elspeth and SSM.  To make it more understandable, I am going to put notes in. I could, as the reformers would have, link every statement back to scripture, but I am not going to, for the sake of clarity.

1. Men and women are moral agents.
2. Therefore, both men and women are responsible for the consequences of their choices.
3. Marriage is not a calling for all. In fact, Paul said that if you are married you will have more troubles because you must then consider your spouse.
4. There is a clear scriptural teaching that a man who does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever.
5. There is clear scriptural teaching that older women should teach younger women how to love their husbands, and that they should or must love their husbands.
6. There is an equally clear scriptural teaching that men should love their wives and not oppress them, nor oppress their children, but protect them and provide for them

Now, to tactics. This is from Vox Day...

Translation: a woman may not always know that she’s willing to have sex with you immediately, but she immediately knows if she has disqualified you from the set of all men with whom she is willing to have sex.

Conclusion: as soon as you even suspect that a woman may have disqualified you, NEXT her and move on to the next one.  When in doubt, NEXT.  If you’re not sure, NEXT. If it’s a little confusing, NEXT.  If she’s sending mixed signals, NEXT. If you are getting anything but genuine enthusiasm to see you, unnecessary touching, and enthusiastic physical contact, NEXT.  Do not hesitate, ever.  No more than two dates should ever be necessary to make this determination from the male perspective.

I will not speak for most men, but for myself. I know, within a very short period of time, if I could oneitis a woman. If she is that attractive. I then start probing to see if she is honourable and testing to see how she reacts, and looks at her family. I have to discipline myself not to touch and sex up while I am doing that.

So women, if he is not, within a couple of dates, probing you as much about what you do and how you live — if he is not clearly testing your wifely potential — NEXT. He should be interested in getting in your knickers, but if that is the only thing on his agenda, NEXT.

If he is clearly holding back, you have a keeper. If he starts protecting you, you have a keeper, If he supports you in worthy projects, good; but if he starts guiding you towards more worthy activities — from reading to church: do not hesitate. Marry him.

UPDATE.

Alte ripped into the topic of the main post, which is that women can (or cannot) love faithfully and unconditionally.

She is American, but married a German man — having spent a fair amount of High School and Post-university time in Germany — her mother did the reverse.

As Christians, the standard is to love everyone everywhere unconditionally. Even our greatest enemies and worst tormentors are to be loved as neighbors, as ourselves. We don’t always live up to it, but I fail to see how that is something particular to married women.

To be honest, I’m not very impressed with American male love. I think they’re mostly a bunch of fickle romantics, but the current state of divorce laws keeps their shenanigans down to a dull roar. I just had one particularly charming gentleman admit unabashedly that he had traded his wife in for a better version. There were eight men present and nobody even blinked. He didn’t even have the decency to be ashamed of what he’d done.

A throw away society, as a general rule.

The fact is, young woman (the audience SSM wanted information for) is that the ugly stick will hit him. Hard. As it will you. You will both get ill. He may not be able to work. Life is at times a gamble, and when you marry you hitch yourself to the other person.

For he will not be perfect. You are not marrying Jesus, you are marrying a fallible man. Alte was on fire today, this one is accurate. (I’ve conflated two comments)

“Tell me again, guys, all about how opportunistic women are and how men want an idealized kind of love.”

It is an idealized love that they strive for, actually. It’s just the wrong ideal. A kind of romantic idolatry, rather than the respect and affection that comes with years of shared hardship and sacrifice. It seems to be predominant among those men prone to pedestalization, as if they are expecting to simply reverse the situation to a more satisfying perversion. Men with a more well-developed ability to love someone don’t seem to suffer the same fate.

I blame television and their parents.

“This was totally unnecessary for you to say, and designed only to incite ridicule and disdain.”

No, I think it’s very pertinent. This is a wider flaw in the American culture. It hits foreign countries through the media, and their societies quickly decline along the same path. Feminism always makes inroads through romance and idealization, after all. The mundane comforts of traditional marriage and civilization are the sort of dowdy thing no one values or misses until it’s gone.

Also, although women initiate divorce proceedings more often, the male rate alone is still higher than the combined rate once was. Men have become progressively eager to chuck their wives. For them to now prance around and claim their undying and unfaltering love as a sex leaves me incredulous. The infidelity rates alone are atrocious.

Love is a choice we make, not something inherent to one sex or the other.

Please note, everyone, that I am not American. The Engineering Diva says that I am far more Asian than I realize. Your mileage may vary. But I will throw in some advice from another Kiwi (of the girl variety) for women.

My List:

1. Desire me
2. Maintain physical attractiveness
3. Kindness
4. Willingness to protect and provide basics for family

My list crosses over my husbands list at number 1 and this keeps us together in more ways than one. Being physically united pretty much on a daily basis means that we’re able to face whatever difficulties may come our way in those other points. As long as my husband’s desire is towards me then ‘Kindness, Attractiveness, Provision’ is less important although highly valued.