I slept through the alarm this morning. This meant that I woke with the sun — 45 minutes before I am supposed to be at work. I managed to get showered shaved, kids fed, me caffeinated and kids to school in 50 minutes. But the usual 30-60 minutes at the beginning of the day, in the quiet, in the dark at this time of the year. reading the word with the first cup of coffee did not happen.

This morning I failed. I always fail. Every day: I’m not that charitable, not that disciplined, and I have a sarcastic edge that waxes sharp all to often. I boast of what I cannot do. But I am not alone in that.

Luke 22:52-62

⁵²Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple police, and the elders who had come for him, “Have you come out with swords and clubs as if I were a bandit? ⁵³When I was with you day after day in the temple, you did not lay hands on me. But this is your hour, and the power of darkness!”

⁵⁴Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house. But Peter was following at a distance. ⁵⁵When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them. ⁵⁶Then a servant-girl, seeing him in the firelight, stared at him and said, “This man also was with him.” ⁵⁷But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” ⁵⁸A little later someone else, on seeing him, said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not!” ⁵⁹Then about an hour later yet another kept insisting, “Surely this man also was with him; for he is a Galilean.” ⁶⁰But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about!” At that moment, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed. ⁶¹The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.” ⁶²And he went out and wept bitterly.

We forget that we fail, and we do not see the need for discipline, and in that, the church is teaching us to be fools.

These habits of fasting from food, alcoholic drinks, and sex — like the habit of constant prayer — are traditions we took over from the Old Testament prophets, and from Jesus himself. Why did Jesus not marry? Why did Jesus go out to the desert and fast for 40 days? Why did He keep a schedule of prayer, rather than limiting Himself to random chats with the Father? What was the purpose of all of this, and why should we emulate His behavior?

Furthermore, why has the modern church largely abandoned these virtuous habits? Why do we only say now, “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” (Isiah 22:13) and “And I commend joy, for man has nothing better under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 8:15)

Is our burden truly so heavy these days that we have no need to suffer any penance, in order to feel closer to our Lord on the cross? I think not, at least not for most of us. For most of us, we wallow in decadence and fight against our own excess. While the Christians of time past often found joy in times of feast, perhaps we will find it more fully in times of fast.

But let’s be clear here. We do not discipline ourselves to prevent failure. For God is completely good, and we are not: the contrast is great and his standards are too high for us to attain. We discipline ourselves to minimize the damage, to imitate that life that we should follow, that of Christ.

This is not something merely for the liturgical. It is for us all. I did not get up this morning on time, which in the greater scheme of things is minor. But the reason I get up — and not sleep in — is because I need that time in the word to correct me, to mitigate my tendency to pride, anger, greed and lust, and to allow the word to mould me. With discipline, we will fail. But without discipline, we will fail greatly.