People expect that the righteous, those chosen by God, those who we look up to, those who were the prophets and kings of old to be flawless. To have this static state of perfection, like some kind of living ikon. And woe betide the celebrity that breaks the narrative, or worse seeks help to become some kind of static image. It’s reached the point where the US media has the hubris to imply that entire parties are wrong to remove a leader (because she is a girl) because they want the girl-ikon, not the woman who is leading a party to defeat.

The Biblical heroes were flawed. Moses was a murderer: he was trying to set up an armed struggle to liberate the people if Israel. Peter was a oathbreaker. God used them. God enjoys taking the person who society has rejected and then forcing him to lead. The reluctant and stuttering Moses at 80 succeeded where the articulate and youthful Moses failed.

Acts 7:17-29

¹⁷“But as the time drew near for the fulfillment of the promise that God had made to Abraham, our people in Egypt increased and multiplied ¹⁸until another king who had not known Joseph ruled over Egypt. ¹⁹He dealt craftily with our race and forced our ancestors to abandon their infants so that they would die. ²⁰At this time Moses was born, and he was beautiful before God. For three months he was brought up in his father’s house; ²¹and when he was abandoned, Pharaoh’s daughter adopted him and brought him up as her own son. ²²So Moses was instructed in all the wisdom of the Egyptians and was powerful in his words and deeds.

²³“When he was forty years old, it came into his heart to visit his relatives, the Israelites. ²⁴When he saw one of them being wronged, he defended the oppressed man and avenged him by striking down the Egyptian. ²⁵He supposed that his kinsfolk would understand that God through him was rescuing them, but they did not understand. ²⁶The next day he came to some of them as they were quarreling and tried to reconcile them, saying, ‘Men, you are brothers; why do you wrong each other?’ ²⁷But the man who was wronging his neighbor pushed Moses aside, saying, ‘Who made you a ruler and a judge over us? ²⁸Do you want to kill me as you killed the Egyptian yesterday?’ ²⁹When he heard this, Moses fled and became a resident alien in the land of Midian. There he became the father of two sons.

Luke 22:31-38

³¹“Simon, Simon, listen! Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, ³²but I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” ³³And he said to him, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death!” ³⁴Jesus said, “I tell you, Peter, the cock will not crow this day, until you have denied three times that you know me.”

³⁵He said to them, “When I sent you out without a purse, bag, or sandals, did you lack anything?” They said, “No, not a thing.” ³⁶He said to them, “But now, the one who has a purse must take it, and likewise a bag. And the one who has no sword must sell his cloak and buy one. ³⁷For I tell you, this scripture must be fulfilled in me, ‘And he was counted among the lawless’; and indeed what is written about me is being fulfilled.” ³⁸They said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.” He replied, “It is enough.”

This does not mean that the actions of Paul and Peter did not have consequences. Moses lived in a desert until he was an old man. He was afraid to return to Egypt. Peter was forgiven by the sovereign act of a risen Christ, and he never forgot it. And at times, when we fall and fail, we feel that we can no longer be a Christian, because we are not perfect, but fallen, broken, bleeding, and hurting those around us.

We grieve for the ikon we could have been, not understanding that God does not want us to worship human ikons, but him alone. Our morals come from him. That we do that is good flows from him. for we are fallen. And as Vanessa says, we do our duty.

I know, but think about how counter-cultural that message is. Think about how many people enter into a marital or spiritual “dry spell” and just give up, cash in, pick up their toys and stomp out, run off to join the moral circus. And then think about the people who stick it out. Who work it out. Who just keep-on-keeping-on in the hope that there’ll be a light at the end of the tunnel.

They show up at church on Sunday. They say their daily prayers. They study the Bible. They follow the liturgy and the laws. They try to do good and no harm all the days of their lives.

It’s easy to say, “Well, they’re just going through the motions!” they way people say, “Well, they’re just staying for the sake of the children!” Yes, they are, at least for a time. But that still counts for something.

God’s listening to your prayers, even if you don’t know it. He’s watching what you do, even if you don’t notice Him observing you. He’ll not forget that what you did and what you said when you thought nobody knew it. When you worried that it was pointless and that you were just going insane because you spent so much time essentially talking to yourself. When you thought even He didn’t know it.

He won’t forget that. And when you do eventually come out of that spell and your spiritual life regains vigor, you won’t forget that, either. And it will change your walk forever. So stick it out. Hang in there. Do your duty. I can see the light ahead.

So do not look to the externals. Only method actors and psychopaths appear to have perfect lives. And method actors have trained themselves to lie, just like psychopaths. For you will fall: as Christ predicted for Peter, even though we start each day in a state of grace (God willing) at the end of the day we have accounts to clear with the almighty. We are clay: we are of the dirt: we are peasants.

He is the almighty,righteous king, and his goodness is terrible. Compared with him, the celebrities and leaders of this world, the self-help gurus, the products of our media with their false images and photoshopped veneer of beauty and goodness are frail, false and ugly. Break them. Ignore them. Turn again to Christ, and leave the stinking lies and signifiers of this post-modern superstition aside.

And then, the stink of this age will dissipate, and you will see clearly.