This was a question that SSM posed at Dalrocks.

What I have noticed is that divorced women and single mothers, most especially at church, sometimes think they have the right to other women’s husbands’ labor.

Seriously, is it my Christian duty to send my husband over to do household repairs for man-hunting divorcees?

The consensus of the men was, no, that no divorced woman can just demand that other women (ie. her friends) send their husbands around just because she’s traded her one in and started to realize that most men are not really interested in being prey for a woman in full cougar mode.

So, many people said that SSM (or any other married woman, should tell her divorced sisters that their husbands (and grown sons) are not available and that the yellow pages has commercial handymen services to fulfil the single woman yard work niche. The topic then switched to is it wrong to disapprove. and the answer was… it is not only morally wrong, it is our duty.

Is it morally wrong for we women who have honored our marriage vows even through times of difficulty to be socially rejecting of divorcees?

The proper response to the unrepentant embracing of sin is churchwide shunning. “Do not even eat with them,” was Paul’s command in 1st Corinthians (same book with everyone’s favorite Love Chapter for reading at weddings).

Of course, the goal, in Christian love, is to use the intense shame of social rejection to bring about repentance (and therefore forgiveness and reconciliation). And it might happen, too, quite a bit more if churches literally started blacklisting anyone who filed for divorce. Might even prevent a few divorces if women were certain that it would happen to them.

One of my old college friends lost his high SMV wife to her tingles. I left the church that I went to during my college years because they held the graduation ceremonies for the local Christian College, and the year after she left hubby for a less boring man, she showed up at the graduation ceremony and started hobnobbing with freaking everyone.

There were maybe two people in the whole building who didn’t know what she had done. But she was young and hot, and God Forbid Minnesotans offend anyone, so everyone was all smiles and how-do-you-do.

I was sick to my stomach. Up until that moment, I genuinely believed that most churches were actually trying to follow the Bible, rather than trying to use the Bible to rubberstamp whatever they were planning to do anyway.

When she got to me, I scowled, spun on my heel, and stormed out of the church. I’ve never darkened the door of that church since, even though my brother and my best friend go there.

Now, those who have been divorced and repented and been single for some years… different story. The object of shunning is to cause repentence and healing. If there is repentence, there can be healing. But without any condemnation, we are letting people blithely head to perdition.

Not wise, Not loving. Sometimes we have to be rude. And sometimes we need to shun.