Quotage, for women, that is unfashionable and wise
Men do like intelligence in a woman and boys like it in girls. The popular idea that our intelligence is somehow a ‘threat to his male ego’ is nonsense. Feminists tell themselves this sometimes to boost their own egos. They think they cannot get a man because their intelligence intimidates men.
That ought to give you a giggle right there!
Yes, feminists can be scary, but that is usually more to do with monstrosity than intelligence. Because – and I am going to keep repeating this – men like intelligence in a woman.
Then why do educated women seem to have a harder time getting married? Here is why:
Men like intelligence. What they also like, is a woman in her prime reproductive age, when she is at her best looking. Most educated women hold off on finding a man until they are well over the hill, and then wonder why men are so scared of their brains. It is not their brains. It is their wrinkles. Sure, a man should like you for who you are. And by putting your career first, you make a real clear statement about who you are. Someone who puts her career first, who did not want to give her most beautiful years to a man, who risked her ability to have kids in favor of a little more money, someone who saw ‘personal development’ as a higher value than love. Nevertheless, they do like your intelligence!
Men like intelligence. What they do not like, is someone who has partied hard in college, gathered a handful of STDs, runs into an ex-boyfriend every time she leaves the house, and would not have given a good man the time of day during her peak years. Now you have become tired of the bad boys, but you have lost your virtue. They do not want the leftovers with those clear traces of a semi-alcoholic past. However, they do like your intelligence!
Men like intelligence. What they do not like, is someone who is arrogant and feels they should have the right to talk over them. They do not like women who are domineering, who feel the need to brag and boast about what they know, who try to tell them what to do because they ‘know better’. Who make snarky sarcastic comments to show off how clever they are. Who try to gain an advantage over men. Many educated women swap social intelligence for book smarts, and wonder why it makes them so unappealing to men. But they do like your intelligence!
Men like intelligence. However, to them, your education, social status and income do not factor into your attractiveness. Unfortunately, women who are ugly, unpleasant, unfeminine, smelly and highly intelligent still feel they ought to be able to ‘marry up’ and find someone of higher socioeconomic status than them. They think men are attracted to the same things in women, as women are attracted to in men. This is delusional. But they do like your intelligence!
So do not drop out of your honors class and pretend not to understand something, in order to catch a beau. Truly, there is no need. However *do* let him finish speaking and explain things. Do show an interest in what he says, and in him and his pursuits. Do let him know what you admire about him. Just because you have a brain, does not mean you cannot be pleasant.
Your intelligence is a great asset and will help you in your marriage and as a mother. Your husband will only love you more for it. Just remember this: a man would rather have a dumb sweetheart, than a smart bitch. A smart sweetheart, however – now that is a real catch!
Here would be a good experiment for a Christian’s women’s group to try: make a pact that from now on, you’re all going to wear skirts or dresses and head coverings (hats, veils, scarves) to church occasions. Once a month, your group will host some sort of ‘manly’ event — a poker tournament, a softball game, a car show — you don’t have to exclude women, but make it something that will draw men more than repel them — and have your group serve food and drinks (very important). Each woman invites any single men she knows — not necessarily her prospects, but brothers, co-workers, etc. Also important: at the beginning of the meal or event, ask one of the men to lead the group in prayer (if you don’t have a pastor there to do that). In general, be feminine and be servants for the day, treat the men like honored guests, and have fun with it all
Novaseeker (he is a must read, and is now in the blogroll under nutraditionalism)
Women in their 40s are not just competing with women their same age but with women up to 10 years younger. So a woman of 45 is competing with women in their mid thirties aa well. Yes, a 45 year oldcan ccompete better with a 55 year old when going for a man in his early to mid 50s, but has a harder time with men that same age of 45 who are attractive – – these guys will jus get a woman in her 30s. Same applies for women in their mid 30s as they compete with women in their mid to late 20s when it comes to attractive guys around 35.
So, no, it isn’t just about comparisons to same age women. That ends when a woman hits 30 or so. Before then the women younger are socially out of bounds, but not after. This is yet another reason why women ought not blow their twenties on Harley McBadboy – – in their 30s, they will be dealing with more competition from younger women, and this makes their number go down for same age men simply because there are more women in the competition set, and lots of them are younger.
This is best seen graphically. It is generally socially acceptable for one to be romantically involved with someone who’s age is at least half your age plus seven years. My sons found the link yesterday, and Mr 15 worked out that was 14.5, Mr 17 worked out that was 15.5… and that his Dad, at 52, ends up at 33.
What is missing is the codicil. I’ve now been around a bit. I weigh a bit more, I carry a few more injuries, and the Family Doctor is feeding me pills I did not need when I was 35. It’s unfair, ladies, but if you make it to around 33-34 without being married or closeasdammit de facto, The men your age are looking younger than you, and the men who find you attractive are the 50 somethings. We have baggage. We have health problems, And many of us will not date around. We will keep you at arms distance. Because the last thing we need is a harrassment suit, or being in a relationship with someone that decreases our happiness, or (worse) ramages our kids.
The fashionable wisdom is not working. But this may: I filter out those who are not sweethearts who are clever — and then obsever your life. I’m aware that not all men are like me, but for me there is a huge amount of preselection before asking you out: (if I do so, I am prepared to take you seriously). And I would rather live in a corner of the roof than with an vexatious chick.