This morning in Kirk I sat next to one of my colleagues and her daughter. The daughter was talking about a local keg party that had got out of control last night and how she had to rescue one of her friends from the mess — the police were called — at 5 am. And we talked about how we are dealing with young people — often in their early teens — who are acting in dangerous ways, and seem to be without a conscience. That their families have no power to control them and they are making choices that are destroying their prospects later.
Being a teenager in New Zealand is a challenge. Our qualification system is such that you have to work fairly steadily over three years to obtain enough points to get into a competitive university or training programme. Son two, in his second year at high school (year 10, grade 9) is already doing “internals” that count toward that system, and son one (year 12, grade 11) is in the middle of this.
My friend was rostered to pray for others. She began praying for the recent victims of events in New Zealand. She then broke down and weeping, prayed for these young people who were not being protected by the adults around them who were not at all grown up.
I have just come back from a fairly long drive with son one. We went up to a the Moeraki Boulders — and during this we discussed what is happening. During this, I reflected on a few observations I have made, or my parents have made.
- In the early 1970s New Zealand revised our social welfare system. We bought in a domestic purposes benefit, removed the requirement that a person be sober and of good characther to recieve a benefit, and increased the amount. My mother recalls one of the Pacific Island women in the church saying “This should not happen, for it will destroy our society”. I now see women whose entire aim in life is to have a child and be on the benefit, perpetuating the cycle of deprivation their mother lived. They see this as normal.
- We have told girls they can do anything. We have told them that they are wonderful. We have been concerned about their self esteem. We have rewarded them by scholarships and support if they enter fields. We have told them they are equal with men… and they have believed us. However, women are smaller, weaker, cannot metabolize substances as fast as men… and, because we have sheltered women from the consequences of their actions, they are hurt, angry and fragile when (not if) they are held accountable for their behaviour.
- Conversely, we have told young men that they are evil, violent, sexually oppressive, and disposable. A number of women call the husband (they have divorced) “the sperm donor”. This has led to men either treating women as friends with benefits, or withdrawing from the dating scene, and instead watching cautiously trying to ascertain what the risk to themselves will be from committing to this person. I said commitment not marriage: in New Zealand if you live with a person for three years or have a child by them your partner now has 50% of what you own. There is no need for paperwork. Marriage and civil unions formalize what will be your legal status.
- As are result we have young women running wild, young men who have disaffiliated themselves from our society… and a minority who stick to the old ways.
Me, I mourn the loss of my marriage. I like traditional marriage. I like the idea of death til us part. I don’t like bars, I don’ t like partying. I like reading, thinking, taking photos, playing music and sharing things. I am, in the terms of the manosphere, a classic beta geek. My sons are the same.
And my advice to all such betas is to leave the nightclub scene and go to the library. Find a girl doing a STEM subject, and woo her. Get involved in a tradtional church. And recreate an old fashioned home.
The society we are told about — the post modern feminist utopia — is destructive. It is time to remove ourselves, and let it go to perdition.