Normal service will be restored real soon now. Casa Pukeko is on the market, and Casa Weka waits: there are various issues and difficulties within the family and then there is work. It all left me exhausted: as Robyn said this morning as we were getting ready for yet another open home I am exhausted and she’s worried about me.
I know my warning signs and the sin that afflicts me when I’m tired. It is not depression. It is anger. I can see much which is wrong, much I would want to fix, and much which it is quite unwise for me to interfere with. But I want to get a nice broadsword and start slicing through the enemies.
It is not merciful, it is not loving, it is not wise.
So I tend to go somewhere alone until I am fit for human company. Because not many people are like me. Thank God.
But I know to wait until Snoopy is back.
This requires that I work on a weakness: I need to be humble. I need to put others first.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
(Philippians 2:1-11 ESV)
Christ, we must note, was far smarter than any of us. He puts up with us… though we are stupid, we continue to be less than we can be, we continue to hurt others, and we do precisely that which will hurt us habitually. If we look at others we will see where they are talented, and praise them for that.
And not be jealous that they are better at certain things than we are.
Humility allows us to encourage each other to be the best we can be: Mercy allows us to cover each other’s weaknesses. But it is love — wanting each of us to be the best we can be — that binds us together.
That comes from God. It is not us: it is him. For he wants us as a church that the very gates of Hell will run from.
Be that. Be not of this broken elite.
Chris, this is beautiful.
when i was in therapy all those years ago my (male) therapist said that men often respond to stuff in life in anger. i found that interesting. perhaps you’re more normal than you think? what makes you exceptional, though, is your ability to recognize it and deal with it appropriately; that is remarkable and wise.
it is not wrong to be angry … anger is like a red flag telling us something needs to be addressed. it’s what we do with that anger that determines whether or not we sin.
“If we look at others we will see where they are talented, and praise them for that. And not be jealous that they are better at certain things than we are.”
i’ve found this to be powerful, yet rare. it’s something i pointedly chose to work on when i was young b/c my mother has been continuously jealous of me my whole life and has verbalized it often. i didn’t like being the recipient of that, and i don’t like what it’s made her. so i’ve made a point to be happy for others when they are happy.
the flip side is me feeling guilty when something good happens to me b/c my parents were always so condescending about those times. there’s a balance between feeling good about something, being confident, and being arrogant or boastful.
i’m sure that Robyn is concerned about you b/c she sees your heart and knows how precious, rare, and valuable you are.
-hits like on Ame’s comment-