Last night was the last ever school prizegiving I need to go to for my children. My younger son sits his year 13 exams over the next two weeks. And, therefore, his mother flew down from Auckland. We managed to get everyone to the hall before the ceremony started.
After three hours, and with one of his friends as Dux Academium, we all piled into my car. I asked the ex if she needed to be dropped at her sister’s house. She said, No, could she stay at my place?
Instant resentment. I never do this. If I am staying at someone’s place, I ask weeks in advance. I have been known to pay hundreds of dollars, caning my credit card, to stay somewhere at short notice.
But I would never throw a patient out of an acute ward onto the streets. And I will not do that to the mother of my children. Even though I meant I have slept poorly, and today I have a woman I used to love, with whom I have had two children, coughing constantly, appearing ill. And I feel I am betraying good sense, morals, and those I love.
I have no idea how this fits with the passage today, but to say that I feel the resentment the disciples had. I want the people to go home. I want my cave back.
Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Now when it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a desolate place, and the day is now over; send the crowds away to go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” But Jesus said, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” And he said, “Bring them here to me.” Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
I’ve said before that I hate divorce, and I do. For the spouse is still there: she has a track record of doing similar things. But I have to act in a way that is wise. I am not sure if what I did was correct: I do know that the chances of getting a hotel bed during the tourist season in Dunedin is very, very low: I booked all my accommodation for the summer holidays four months in advance, and hotel beds were non-existent in some towns — and I will take that holiday at the end of summer.
I pray that some good will come from this. To date, I can see but one thing: son one has made his plans for the next year. And Son two was irritated he still managed to get commended, because he had spent the last term deliberately irritating teachers so he would not have to walk across the stage.
My generation, with our delusions of equality and liberty equalling a freedom to do anything without consequences, have made a minefield of all relationships. May we return to the old ways. May we return to divorce being rare, and a reason for repentance of the entire congregation, not a ritual to be celebrated.
Because the damage continues to be done.
Proverbs 21:9
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 27:15
A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike;
I found all these to say this. Maybe your son’s will see. Maybe they will learn a lesson. Maybe you could be a crashing bore, make your self a cot in the attic or basement of your house. When your son’s ask why. Tell them ; I won’t be around forever, you have to learn this stuff.
If I ever have son’s, I will make my wife read to her womb the book of Proverbs. Here is another , tell them “It’s tradition.”
You do realize that if you quote those to her you will be disciplined by her church and drummed out of the congregation? Because it will be deemed hate speech. She would call me an impediment on her spiritual growth.
I wish she would accept correction. But it that was the case, perhaps the marriage would not have imploded. She normally lives on the other Island in the house we had (she bought me out). Alone. I have raised the boys. Who are now approaching the age of consent (at next election they can both vote).
We as sentient aware humans are always learning. I hope my future wife will be smart enough to see through the corruption and evil of someone going against the word of G-D.
As a kid growing up I saw my parents fighting all the time. Knock down drag me out of the house fight. The divorce was final in 1982 the year I graduated university with my BSME. When I first heard about it, I was in college, I said about time. I still remember the contention always present in my house growing up. I remember in 1968 while traveling to California the entire family stopped in a motel in New Mexico and my mother complained about it no end for 30 years. It was old. It was stained . It was too small, one room. It cost too much. On and on. That was the only vacation our family every took. Only One. It was cited in the divorce that my farther did not provide enough support to the family. 1968 in December we the family moved into the house that my has today. A 3br room 2 bath ranch. I got a long memory.
While I drink coffee as I write, I think of my grand fathers bible sitting under my 50 inch smart TV. I remember it from the my child hood. He was a Church of Christ Minister. I tell people that are willing to listen he switch to Church of Christ because the baptists were too liberal. His Bible was American Bible Society. 1942 I think. It’s so old its falling apart. I have six Bibles now. Just bought one with big text. I still remember my grand farther using that bible in Sunday service in Sayers, outside Bastop, Texas, Next to Austin. My grand mother gave to me. My 11 Aunts and Uncles gave them a 50 year wedding anniversary party. I remember it.
Another cup of coffee… Wait a second….
l said all that to say this. We learn all lot of things in different ways. Maybe your son’s will see you sleeping in the roof of the house and make the connection with out you telling them. And 30 years from now your grand sons will wonder why their farther’s laughed at you sleeping in the roof.
Deu 6:7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deu 6:8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.