We have a very simple choice in this life.
We can follow the teachings of God or the memes, the myths and ideologies of this world. Both of these choices have consequences in this life and the life to come.
There are no guarantees in this life, but the advice from this world is — young man, ignore the memes of the girls. Avoid the university and the witch hunts within. Do not commit, either live without women or keep women at a distance: ensure your contraceptive and legal protections against sexual conquests are great: get fit, read good books, and work with your hands. If you keep a budget and keep your frame around women, you will move up the male totem pole (which is scored by women) and may have a good life, but guarantees there are not.
This leads to this kind of advice to women, missing some points, around the inherent instability of marriages based completely on growth or pleasure, but is the advice given both in secular areas and the church.
Halting the marriage decline and reviving the institution of marriage will depend on:
- A robust economy over the long-term
- A decrease in the size of the wealth gap
- More educational opportunities without the burden of debt
- Job training and education in sectors where the American economy is likely to grow
The decline of marriage in the U.S. has nothing to do with hookup culture, females going to college or delaying marriage until their late 20s.
The data is clear: Millennials want to get married and have families. They want egalitarian relationships, regardless of gender or education level. Surely what’s left of the American Dream should include that.
Susan Walsh needs to get out more. New Zealand has a robust economy, a smaller wealth gap, less educational debt (and interest free student loans) and a better mix of educational types, but we have the same decline in marriage. Our society has adjusted by the family courts considering any relationship over 2 years to be akin to a marriage.
If you follow the world you may have success, at the cost of your soul, But that is not promised. If you follow Christ however, you are promised troubles and failure. In this life, you participate in the suffering of Christ.
And the world will call you foolish.
But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men corrupted in mind and disqualified regarding the faith. But they will not get very far, for their folly will be plain to all, as was that of those two men.
You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra—which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
(2 Timothy 3 ESV)
For those who follow Christ, obedience to the word of God and a clear conscience is a continuous struggle. The dynamics of the churchian subvert this. They tend to tell the pretty lie. They tend to preach prosperity and healing, when healing is not the result God wants, and God is letting us go through trials for our good.
It as if the Churchian says it does not matter how you study or train, you will succeed in the exam or game or race, because we will put an Olympic Athlete or Rhodes Scholar in your place, and give you the credit.
Forgetting that the test motivated the study and training.
So look at what they do. They assuage guilt. They use pretty lies. They sing songs which sound spiritual but are all about them, {Ms. Jobe did not write this song. The person who did told the Hillsong eldership that he had cancer, when he did not. When that came up, Hillsong dropped the song, even though it was popular, for they did not want to be associated with a lie. I’m using this version because it has the lyrics: which are straight churchian prosperity gospel]
For those in Christ, obedience requires that we place ourselves at risk of ridicule and ruin. The world hates us wants to destroy our marriages: yet we should marry if celibacy is not within us. The world considers all our desire and love can be reduced to sexual desire, ignoring that there are many ways of caring for others, and that not all are called to, or are capable of marriage.
Godly marriage is now subversive. If your conscience burns, for you cannot get her (or him) our of your mind, then marry. The “red pill” men will call you a fool, and the feminist women will call you a doormat, let them. You would rather follow Christ.
But do not count the success of your marriage in church in economic terms. Count it it troubles. Count it in lives changed. Count in by the amount of hate emails you get. For if we are not different from the world, we have lost our point.
Dear Chris:
You have to realize Susan Walsh’s core audience. When she says that the decline in marriage has nothing to do with hookup culture, women going to college, or delaying marriage, she’s talking about a very, very narrow demographic: Women between ages 18-30 in the United States, college educated or in college, middle class or above, working or seeking work, politically moderate to liberal, and sexually active.
She concerns herself with no other demographic group. Her narrow “research” and pronouncements have nothing to do with Christian women, black women, Latinas, working class women, poor women, baby mamas, non-American women, or women who haven’t attended college.
Even so, though Susan doesn’t want to admit it, the marriage decline (it’s not a marriage “strike”, at least not yet) has everything to do with the fact that most men can’t attract most women, and most women are wholesale offloading and discarding most men. That’s the simple fact of the matter. Period. Full stop.
Moreover, Chris, Susan Walsh is writing to and for and about the very women in today’s American society who are most likely to marry, and most likely to remain married once they do marry, and that is college educated, upper middle class and upper class white women. So of course she sees no problems in their futures. Of course it’s all smooth sailing.
One of the primary problems in American political life and policymaking is that most of the policymakers are liberal, modern, upper middle class and upper class. These are the folks who do the best with marriage — they have the mindset, the mental and cognitive skills, the future time orientation, and the money. They understand full well what’s at stake in marriage and in divorce. They understand their children’s futures are at stake. SO , they make policy thinking that everyone else is just like them, when they aren’t. Not everyone else has the foresight, the money, or the skills to work, hold down a job, select a suitable marriage partner, and keep that marriage going once contracted. And, of course, some either select poorly or can’t keep the marriage going for whatever reason.
So the problem is liberal modern policymakers saying “well, all you lower class and middle class folk need to do is just be like us, and you’ll be fine! Just go to college! Just get a job! Just get married and stay married! Just have children!”
OT, but you’ve said you get JW fairly often. Today was interesting, and I need a drink. Only I don’t really drink. Bother. https://hearthtobelovely.wordpress.com/2015/02/12/two-interesting-hours/ (You don’t need to publish this if you don’t want, I just wanted to make sure you read it).
@Deti:
I’m aware that Susan Walsh lives in a UMC world, but so do I: most of my friends are small businessmen, professionals and academics. Most UMC women in NZ do not marry until they have lived with a person for some years, and generally after saving up for the “big day”, and delay having kids until that happens (and the mortgage partially paid). The working class have neither marriages nor mortgages.
But all these groups get well and truly minced by family courts. In NZ there is no alimony, property is split 50;50, and your income is imputed for child support. There are a bunch of men living on very low incomes so they pay the bare minimum to their kids as a consequence.
@Hearthie.
Got the post, and I will leave the link up, because you have good information there.