My usual Kirk is in hiatus until next week. This is part of what we do: the congregation is a branch of the local presbyterian kirk, and during the school holidays we are encouraged to go elsewhere, and bring that back to our home church. I had been told by a friend that her church had difficulties, but was evangelical, so off I went to sample Southern Evangelical Anglicanism.

It was horrible. The only good thing was the sermon, and that repulsed my son, who said it was over indulgent.

But that is not what horrified me. My gorge rose during the children’s talk. We were given sticks, and we were told to think of a fear, snap the stick, and then they were gathered and put on the altar.

That is not the gospel. We need no symbols. We are told instead to repent, remove our iniquities from us, and turn to God. It is not good therapy: for to deal with clinically significant fears you learn to manage anxiety and then expose yourself to increasing doses of fear, nor is it courage, which is doing your duty when the fear exists.

It was magical thinking, a theology that we can force God to do our will by ritual and invocation, and that is at least idolatry. It is worshipping our rituals, not God.

Needless to say, that “church” is off the list I will attend. They have left the richness of the Anglican Prayer Book, of the Calvinist stream of theology that is interwoven throughout the history of the Anglican church, and are producing something profoundly ugly in a place where there should be faith and beauty.

Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity.
Take with you words and return to the LORD;

say to him, “Take away all iniquity; accept what is good, and we will pay with bulls the vows of our lips.
Assyria shall not save us; we will not ride on horses; and we will say no more, ‘Our God,’ to the work of our hands. In you the orphan finds mercy.”

I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them.
I will be like the dew to Israel; he shall blossom like the lily; he shall take root like the trees of Lebanon; his shoots shall spread out; his beauty shall be like the olive, and his fragrance like Lebanon.

They shall return and dwell beneath my shadow; they shall flourish like the grain; they shall blossom like the vine; their fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon.

O Ephraim, what have I to do with idols? It is I who answer and look after you. I am like an evergreen cypress; from me comes your fruit.

Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them.

(Hosea 14 ESV)

Now, why is this happening? This church is doctrinally safe. You look at its website and what it believes, and you will not have any argument (beyond bishops, but that is an area where many can be wrong). I am sure that believers are in the church.

And women are allowed to preach within the Anglican church. But the question one has to continually ask is if it is the right time, is it legitimate.

I’m not going to apologize for the language here: it’s David Wilkinson giving a sermon, late in his life, and his Appalachian Pentecostal roots are apparent. But he has a truth to impart.

I want to talk to you about being poisoned with the “gall of bitterness.” Peter introduced this phrase when he rebuked Simon, a new convert who had offered money in exchange for the power of the Holy Ghost to lay hands on people for baptisms and miracles.

“And when Simon saw that through the laying on of the apostles hands the Holy Ghost was given, he offered them money, saying, Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost.

“But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money. Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee. For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity” (Acts 8: 18-23).

“Gall” here means envy — a dangerous poison. And Simon was infected with it! I believe he also had a heart to help people, which helped disguise his condition. Verse 13 says he believed, was baptized and “continued with Philip, and wondered, beholding the miracles and signs which were done”.

Something deadly lay underneath! All the while Simon was saying to himself, “I can do that, too! Im gifted. I feel for people. Give me a chance!”

Simon had a dangerous mixture in his heart. It was a desire to be used by God — mixed with a desire for preeminence! He truly wanted God to use him, but he also needed recognition. He wanted power and place, without paying the right price! He wanted a shortcut.

So it is in the work of God today. Many are trying to take shortcuts to get to a place of power and usefulness. We offer our talents and abilities to the Lord — but if you have the talent and don’t have a servants heart, God cant use you!

In his third epistle, John tells of a man named Diotrephes who “loved to have the preeminence among them” (3 John 9). When things did not go his way, he began “prating against” the brethren with malicious words.

A “prater” is one who babbles over trifles. Diotrephes was offended by Johns message, and he began to gossip. His vanity had been pricked, his pride wounded. So he went about telling a story of being wounded by other servants of God. He disrupted the peace of the brethren and won many to his side.

This wasnt gross sin; it wasnt doctrinal error. It was the sin of impatience! He couldn’t wait for God to do the work. He wanted preeminence — and he probably sounded so right!

What has happened to cause this error in this church, are three errors.

Firstly, women have been encouraged into public ministry. There is a place for ministry for women within the church: they are to teach young women how to live. As a man, I am profoundly glad this was given to my sisters, because there is a stubborn streak in most women, who do not want to submit to the word of God let alone their husbands, and I’d rather women get into details together.

But when a woman goes all treacly and sweet in church, particularly to kids, and makes the gospel seem gentle, sweet and safe it makes me want to walk out of the building. That is not what Christ is. Moreover, there is a paucity of male leadership in this life, and we need to model how to teach to fathers, so they can instruct their children, as is their duty.

Secondly, this church wants to have the power of the Pentecostal. Without understanding that the Pentecostal church is wracked with difficulties: the amount of sexual sin and errors that have occurred is huge (go back and read all of Dave Wilkinson’s sermon) and without creed or structure, they can all to easily fall into error.

God gives power to whom he will, at the time that it is needed. He equips us for the task ahead of us. He will renew us. Turning to other models, to what appears to be successful, is akin to looking at the empire next door (Assyria in the time of Hosea) and hoping they will defend you instead of swallowing you up.

Finally, this wish to be blessed leads to impatience. It leads to an anger against God, that things are not perfect for you. That you have neither power, nor peace, nor marital harmony. Instead, all too often, the men in the church are fearful, anxious and weak, and the women angry that they are being placed in positions of power (while outwardly wanting them), tired, and deeply unhappy (while smiling and saying all the right spiritual things). Instead of turning to God, we turn to our favourite sins — gluttony is probably more common than lust — and then ask God to empower us in our disobedience.

And we start looking for rituals, for short cuts. We turn to the neofeminist theologians, who talk about nature worship, about rediscovering rituals for women and by women, and that witchcraft is not all that bad: that being angry with the male is perfectly appropriate.

And we see this move to spirituality as a way forward, a short cut, an access to power.

It is not. We need to repent: we need to purge the idols from within us, and around us. And most of them are not works of art, cups of silver, or altars. They are the habits that we put before God and doing our duty.

In this time, the biggest idol we need to purge is the institutionalized worship of ourselves, usually called self esteem.