Last night the programme I had travelled to Aussie to participate in was screened. As part of this, I was on Twitter, using my professional hat, and discussing issues around management, particularly access.

But one of the things that the patients with the disorder talked about was how exhausting this was: how they despaired, how suicide became an option. Well, although I finished doing this at midnight, sleep did not come easily. Part of doing this work is allowing yourself to feel with the other person, and you cannot just switch that off.

Now, I would not say that Job had this disorder. But the text is very human, and very real. Job knows his time is short, and he can see nothing but the grave: even his faith in salvation does not comfort him at this time.

We have to remember that emotions can be strong, overwhelming, but they are but a phase. The facts of life go on. And we cannot remove from our lives the struggles that we all have.
We may not have (praise God) OCD, or psychosis, or depression: but those who do are coping with things that would challenge ony of us. And most of them would read this chapter and say they have been there.

Job Continues: My Life Has No Hope

“Has not man a hard service on earth,
and are not his days like the days of a hired hand?
Like a slave who longs for the shadow,
and like a hired hand who looks for his wages,
so I am allotted months of emptiness,
and nights of misery are apportioned to me.
When I lie down I say, ‘When shall I arise?’
But the night is long,
and I am full of tossing till the dawn.
My flesh is clothed with worms and dirt;
my skin hardens, then breaks out afresh.
My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle
and come to their end without hope.

“Remember that my life is a breath;
my eye will never again see good.
The eye of him who sees me will behold me no more;
while your eyes are on me, I shall be gone.
As the cloud fades and vanishes,
so he who goes down to Sheol does not come up;
he returns no more to his house,
nor does his place know him anymore.

“Therefore I will not restrain my mouth;
I will speak in the anguish of my spirit;
I will complain in the bitterness of my soul.
Am I the sea, or a sea monster,
that you set a guard over me?
When I say, ‘My bed will comfort me,
my couch will ease my complaint,’
then you scare me with dreams
and terrify me with visions,
so that I would choose strangling
and death rather than my bones.
I loathe my life; I would not live forever.
Leave me alone, for my days are a breath.
What is man, that you make so much of him,
and that you set your heart on him,
visit him every morning
and test him every moment?
How long will you not look away from me,
nor leave me alone till I swallow my spit?
If I sin, what do I do to you, you watcher of mankind?
Why have you made me your mark?
Why have I become a burden to you?
Why do you not pardon my transgression
and take away my iniquity?
For now I shall lie in the earth;
you will seek me, but I shall not be.”

(Job 7 ESV)

JOb is correct. Life is short, and you do not know what span you have. All I know is that it is shorter than what it was initially. Many have their life cut short: by accident, by illness, and by the violence and war that seems to flame all over the globe.

So we should not be silent, nor should we let others say that our speech is harsh, inappropriate. What Job experienced is real: all of us, at some point will feel this way.

But there is another interpretation of the last few verses. Job does not understand how he is worthy of salvation: many would say he is speaking from despair. I’m not sure. Because I think none of us are worthy of salvation. It is an act of grace, of love, and it is overwhelming, and un understandable.

Our salvation is as deep a mystery as the incarnation or the resurrection.

So we need to remind ourselves that feelings do not change covenants, if they truly are covenants. It does not matter what we think of our employer, we have a duty to him. Or our spouse. And it does not matter what we feel about salvation, the spirit is either in us and we are of Christ, or we are not.

Let us pray that we have the dilemma of Job. Wondering why we are saved, while the great and good are on the road to perdition.