I have been continuing to read Corinthians, and today we get into divorce, but then we also have in today’s lectionary the story of the Gedarene demoniac. Now, if I saw someone who was violent and hitting himself now sitting clothed and in his right mind I would shake Jesus’ hand and ask him if he can help with the bunch of people I see.
The response of the Gedarenes is important, and I think it applies to the current situation with divorce. When the hand of God came and the pigs were drowned (the symbolism of unclean spirits in unclean animals is obvious) then the local pagans begged him to leave. They cannot handle much reality. We find ourselves in this situation all to frequently.
10To the married I give this command – not I but the Lord – that the wife should not separate from her husband 11(but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12To the rest I say – I and not the Lord – that if any believer has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called you. 16Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.
17However that may be, let each of you lead the life that the Lord has assigned, to which God called you. This is my rule in all the churches. 18Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing; but obeying the commandments of God is everything. 20Let each of you remain in the condition in which you were called.
21Were you a slave when called? Do not be concerned about it. Even if you can gain your freedom, make use of your present condition now more than ever. 22For whoever was called in the Lord as a slave is a freed person belonging to the Lord, just as whoever was free when called is a slave of Christ. 23You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of human masters. 24In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God.
1They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes. 2And when he had stepped out of the boat, immediately a man out of the tombs with an unclean spirit met him. 3He lived among the tombs; and no one could restrain him any more, even with a chain; 4for he had often been restrained with shackles and chains, but the chains he wrenched apart, and the shackles he broke in pieces; and no one had the strength to subdue him. 5Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always howling and bruising himself with stones. 6When he saw Jesus from a distance, he ran and bowed down before him; 7and he shouted at the top of his voice, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.” 8For he had said to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” 9Then Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” 10He begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. 11Now there on the hillside a great herd of swine was feeding; 12and the unclean spirits begged him, “Send us into the swine; let us enter them.” 13So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out and entered the swine; and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea, and were drowned in the sea.
14The swineherds ran off and told it in the city and in the country. Then people came to see what it was that had happened. 15They came to Jesus and saw the demoniac sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, the very man who had had the legion; and they were afraid. 16Those who had seen what had happened to the demoniac and to the swine reported it. 17Then they began to beg Jesus to leave their neighborhood. 18As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed by demons begged him that he might be with him. 19But Jesus refused, and said to him, “Go home to your friends, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and what mercy he has shown you.” 20And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him; and everyone was amazed.
It find it interesting that Paul implies that we sanctify our children from our belief. This would allow infant baptism: it’s also worthwhile noting that he says that it takes but one believer within the marriage to ensure this. This gives women a dignity, even when married to a unbeleiver: even when her LORD is opposing her faith. And it gives men a dignity when they are left with a rebellious and unbelieving wife.
And here lies, perhaps, a way forward for the Church. Our society has decided that marriage is for hedonic reasons only, and that if your wife or husband does not allow your development, or restricts your spiritual development. or horrors, demands obedience and that you keep your word (or your wife insists that you keep your semen only for her, in her. or on her, and you neither stray to another nor to any screen or book or image) that you are being abusive and restrictive.
Within the church we need to call this for the bullshit it is. The Gedarene demoniac was less chained by his legion of demons than we are with our politically correct existentialist politics of identity, offense and victimhood. Instead we have to make the circumstances we have for Christ. praying that our faithfulness will meet the others.
And this means that we ignore the memes of this world. Our very bodies rebel against these: men turn from their wives when they demand we have desire to them in full shrew and obesity, and women are nauseated by the supplicating pleading of the feminist male.
It wasn’t the corny jokes in the song. It wasn’t the dressing up as a boy band. It wasn’t even the total irreverence for being in the Lord’s house. Rather, it was the pedestalizing supplication. No woman could watch her man act like this without her libido immediately packing its suitcase, exiting the building, and entering the witness protection relocation program, never to be seen or heard from again. Any unmarried woman watching this will continue to say she’s hoping to find a good Christian man like one of these to marry; she’ll complain about the Viking Barbarians and make a show of locking her front door against them, but in moments of temptation and weakness she’ll find herself daydreaming about leaving the backdoor unlocked just in case…
A wife doesn’t want her husband to call her HIS queen; this implies that he is her subject. He is supposed to be the head of the home, the KING of the castle, for Pete’s sake, not her Page, not some kind of cross-dressed asexual Lady-in-Waiting. She may be the queen of the home, but she isn’t his queen to bow down and worship. Just gross.
So what to do with the divorced masses who were left because their spouse was “not growing” or “unhappy” or “abused by his (insert anything, even NASCAR)?
Paul is clear. The innocent should let them go[1]. They should not demand that they go, but they should let them go. We are required to live in peace. And for us divorced, the issue is if the spouse has faith. We either need to reconcile, or pray for their salvation: we cannot undo the damage that we have done. And if the woman or man will not bow to the advice of Godly brothers and sisters[2], and remains in sin, shun them. Remove access to communion. Let them see the gravity of their sin. And pray, pray fervently, for repentance.
This is the besetting sin of all our churches. The annulment mill runs at full speed for the American Catholics (despite the fact that most Catholics consider this wrong) and among the protestants serial marriage and indeed living as the Samaritan women — who had six husbands and the one you have now you are not married to — is tolerated.
If we take these teaching seriously, our churches will shrink. We can forget about being “seeker friendly”. But we may, perhaps, find that the demons of our age are having to live in pigs, not humans.
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1. There is no party in a divorce who is truly innocent: for we all hurt each other. It is the lack of humility and forgiveness that leads to a hardening of the heart and contempt. And that shuts out the gospel. This is why divorce damages souls.
By innocent here I mean the party that is trying to keep things together, who is pleading.
2. Within the reformed there are but two reasons for divorce (a) unrepentant adultery and b) abandonment despite formal counsel from the elders of the church that you should return to your wife or husband and fulfil your duties to them . Both would be grounds for excommunication, and, as unbelievers, letting them go. This should be rare, and in these cases the other party is free, and should live in peace. Remarriage is allowed.
