I live in a nation where prostitution is legal. Pimping is not: sex tourism is not. The argument was that by destigmatizing sex work people would then be encouraged to use protection and seek help. Besides, it may be empowering.

It did not stop the suburb where I grew up becoming a red light district. It did not stop underage hookers. In fact, we had a methamphetamine abuse problem in the same area (it’s better now: I have not worked in South Auckland for almost eight years) and more women put their bodies on the rack to pay for their next hit.

So prostitutes? Seen the damage: treated a fair number of them over the years — the job is risky, and the risk of assault or worse is high, if you were not scarred before you began sex work.

The Mary in the second passage traditionally is Mary Magdeline, not Mary the sister of Martha. Mary was a common Jewish name — there are at least four women with that name in the gospels, including the mother of our Lord. But I do wonder if the twits of this world will see the first passage as hate speech.

Proverbs 7:1-27

¹My child, keep my words and store up my commandments with you; ²keep my commandments and live, keep my teachings as the apple of your eye; ³bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart. ⁴Say to wisdom, “You are my sister”, and call insight your intimate friend, ⁵that they may keep you from the loose woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.

⁶For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice, ⁷and I saw among the simple ones, I observed among the youths, a young man without sense, ⁸passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house ⁹in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness.

¹⁰Then a woman comes towards him, decked out like a prostitute, wily of heart. ¹¹She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; ¹²now in the street, now in the squares, and at every corner she lies in wait. ¹³She seizes him and kisses him, and with impudent face she says to him: ¹⁴“I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows; ¹⁵so now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you! ¹⁶I have decked my couch with coverings, coloured spreads of Egyptian linen; ¹⁷I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. ¹⁸Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; let us delight ourselves with love. ¹⁹For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey. ²⁰He took a bag of money with him; he will not come home until full moon.”

²¹With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. ²²Right away he follows her, and goes like an ox to the slaughter, or bounds like a stag towards the trap ²³until an arrow pierces its entrails. He is like a bird rushing into a snare, not knowing that it will cost him his life.

²⁴And now, my children, listen to me, and be attentive to the words of my mouth. ²⁵Do not let your hearts turn aside to her ways; do not stray into her paths. ²⁶for many are those she has laid low, and numerous are her victims. ²⁷Her house is the way to Sheol, going down to the chambers of death.

John 11:55-12:8

⁵⁵Now the Passover of the Jews was near, and many went up from the country to Jerusalem before the Passover to purify themselves. ⁵⁶They were looking for Jesus and were asking one another as they stood in the temple, “What do you think? Surely he will not come to the festival, will he?” ⁵⁷Now the chief priests and the Pharisees had given orders that anyone who knew where Jesus was should let them know, so that they might arrest him.

¹Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. ²There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. ³Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. ⁴But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ⁵“Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?” ⁶(He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) ⁷Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. ⁸You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”

Now, I am not going to spend that much time railing about sex work or pornography: that was done elsewhere a day or so ago. And Stacey McCain, writing about a freshman at Duke who is paying for her tuition by “acting” notes that the elite hamster is spinning furiously.

It is not pornography which is “shameful,” Emily Shire tells us, rather it is “our stigmatization of adult film performers.” But what would Emily Shire (or, for that matter, Miriam Weeks) say about the “adult film” consumers? Shouldn’t we stigmatize guys who wank to porn? Does Emily Shire have any respect for those on the demand side of the porn industry’s supply-and-demand equation?

What about the commercial producers of pornography, who profit by commodifying sex on a worldwide scale?

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not advocating censorship, but I am advocating honesty about what manner of commerce is being transacted by Miriam Weeks. Legal though it may be, it is shameful from start to finish, and we ought not pretend otherwise.

You don’t see guys publicly declaring that they wank to porn. As shameless as he was, Anthony Weiner never claimed to be waging a courageous fight against the “stigmatization” of wanking. And you didn’t see anyone praise his “openness,” did you?

I’d rather refer young men back to proverbs. There will always be seductive women, and there will always be women who will demand payment. And men. And whatever 50 odd genders facebook is inventing. And this is a trap: like fapping — it will divert you from your mission.

Instead I want to think about Mary. For she’s repentant, and to this day she is honoured in her act. She has moved to repentance, from being a notorious sinner, from whom Christ cast 40 demons. Traditionally she was a slut, if not a whore. And here there is a warning for women: guard your innocence, for in the party live the predators.

To which the answer is, maybe in a few exceptional rare cases yes, but the PUA is using a number of selection filters, the most important for this discussion are the club, alcohol, and the 3-date rule.

A woman having sex within 3 dates is already ruined. A women in the club or getting blitzed around strange horny men is either already ruined or will be ruined in very short order whether there’s a PUA present or not.

To describe the ruining of girls, I coined the term slut event horizon. If you aren’t familiar with TV Tropes (or astrophysics), an event horizon is the point of no return, past which something/someone is irredeemable.*

So, in this case, past a certain point of sexual activity a certain women is most slut, no question.

A women having sex within 3-dates is already past the slut event horizon. A women at the club or frat party getting wasted is almost assuredly past the slut event horizon, and in the rare case she isn’t she is willingly putting herself so close to going over the edge that for any practical purpose you should treat her as such (ie. a slut is not a wife).

The PUA’s natural fodder is the woman already past the event horizon, or, rarely, so near the edge of the event horizon that to say the PUA ruined her is to blame the straw for breaking the camel’s back rather than the 400-lb obese man.

The trouble is that this society is not really well set up for marriage. Both young and older men who are seriously about Christ and looking for a husband: to quote Alan Roebuck.

I argue here that most men should attempt to marry, for several basic reasons. First, marriage is necessary for the survival of a people. Second, men (and women) need to be a part of a good order if they are to live well and a good social order includes marriage. And three, men were designed for leadership, as they are more attuned to the practical application of truth and justice, and are more able to impose their will on a situation, than women are.

Now, sex is part of the glue that should hold a marriage together. Sex goggles are real, oneitis is real, and wife goggles (remembering her youthful beauty) is real. And these things are good. For they encourage a couple to keep the marital bed pure — and in this fallen world that is hard enough. But… what makes for a good wife is fidelity and honour. Being faithful to your vows will include not merely sexual exclusiveness, but an exclusiveness in obedience or submission: you do not have to obey all mankind, but this one man.

And sex work and sluttery hack these circuits, and in doing this you filter out those who will honour you, and who you could love, seeking a better experience, or excitement, or (in the sad case that both McCain and SSM refer to) the false idea that you can gain a qualification without developing your professional qualities, and your morals will not matter at work.

And this is false: Morals matter, particularly at work.

So what should we say to the women who are past this event horizon? Well, I do have some advice… and it’s not pretty.

1. Give up the sex work and the drugs. Get help with the drugs. Leave town. Go live in the country. Go on the dole if needed. You will need to budget to live frugally, because continuing in this lifestyle will damage you further.
2. Avoid the clubs — if where you are could be used in a music video, don’t be there.
3. Don’t have a boyfriend. Don’t have a friend with benefits. Live celibate. You need to go cold turkey on the sex for a bit.
4. Get involved in a church, and not for husband shopping. Preferably one with male leadership and no talk of empowerment. As Mary poured perfume over the feet of Christ, you are pouring your life into the Lord.
5. Find honest employment.
6. Get a new wardrobe: if a silly teenage girl would wear it, don’t. (Exception: if married, wear what your husband likes).
7. Realize that you may never marry. Plan accordingly: you can be the woman who works in the third world or does great things for God and your fellow man, for you do not have to protect and raise kids.
8. If a man takes the risk, and does court you, treat him decently, and if married honour him: he could have chosen someone without scars. Do not treat him with contempt: do not treat him as you used to treat clients.

And, young woman, if you are looking at this list and thinking “that only applies to Silly Sally who made porn movies or stripped or did sex work” — consider how you find men and pick them up. For there are as many female as male predators within the clubs. If that was you, then you have the same bleak choice.

Party until you looks go (and they will. Fast) and then become a retired cougar, raising cats, or repent. For only in the second option does life and forgiveness reside.