I’m thinking of a couple of conversations that have been going on over the lat few days. Linking back (and yes, this is not yesterday or the day before. It’s the lead up to Christmas. There is a thing called a life, there are friends, and one should not spend all day online snarking. Therein lies despair). And yes, I’m quoting myself: Recycling is good innit?
I think I’m taking this somewhere else. Let us assume that you are single (check) there is a woman who loves you (check) and you are both crazy for each other (check).
The world says rent a room. Take her. Go for it.
I’m saying NO.
For three reasons…
The first is that God does not want you to.
The second is that oneitis exists in the non Jaded (the PUAs cannot apply) to bond you to each other and make you overlook her differences…
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And the third is about frame. What you are trying to do is set up not a love affair but a Godly marriage. Your ability to indicate that she is desirable and wanted and turns you on — thank you very much — BUT that you are going to hold off and test and then Marry — and that you will control this — sets up the correct paradigm for marriage.If you go for it, you will get the accuser telling you that you are a hypocrite and you are likely to feel guilty and apologetic and come across as a wimp. It’s a point where you have to do what it takes to hold frame — and expect her to test you . She needs to know that you will be hers exclusively, and that you can control things — so she can feel safe enough to let you control her.
I have learned most of this by making mistakes. I hope that the young fellers will learn from us failed Yuppies, and not do what we did :-).
Because we are not in the SMP as it is: we are subverting the SMP and Churchian Sunday Morning Nightclub to make something better.
Now, what does this have to do with today’s passages? Quite a lot, actually. The other passages are Zechariah prophesying that the daughters of Zion will have their sins removed, and another Zechariah, the Father of John the Baptizer, being told is wife — probably in her 50s — will conceive and bear a child with the spirit of Elijah. It ends with Elizabeth saying that her disgrace had been taken from her.
As a church we must be in the world, and the world is a sewer. Sometimes that stench comes into the chapel with us. But we must not be of the world. Our governence should not reflect the current fashions of the world. Instead we need to follow the criteria within scripture… and choose those who have been tested and who withstand the temptations of this era.
1Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, for the sake of the faith of God’s elect and the knowledge of the truth that is in accordance with godliness, 2in the hope of eternal life that God, who never lies, promised before the ages began – 3in due time he revealed his word through the proclamation with which I have been entrusted by the command of God our Saviour,
4To Titus, my loyal child in the faith we share:
Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Saviour.
5I left you behind in Crete for this reason, that you should put in order what remained to be done, and should appoint elders in every town, as I directed you: 6someone who is blameless, married only once, whose children are believers, not accused of debauchery and not rebellious. 7For a bishop, as God’s steward, must be blameless; he must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or addicted to wine or violent or greedy for gain; 8but he must be hospitable, a lover of goodness, prudent, upright, devout, and self-controlled. 9He must have a firm grasp of the word that is trustworthy in accordance with the teaching, so that he may be able both to preach with sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict it.
10There are also many rebellious people, idle talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision; 11they must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for sordid gain what it is not right to teach. 12It was one of them, their very own prophet, who said, “Cretans are always liars, vicious brutes, lazy gluttons.” 13That testimony is true. For this reason rebuke them sharply, so that they may become sound in the faith, 14not paying attention to Jewish myths or to commandments of those who reject the truth. 15To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure. Their very minds and consciences are corrupted. 16They profess to know God, but they deny him by their actions. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.
Married only once means exactly that. The Greeks and Romans were did not take multiple wives, as the Orientals did. But they considered marriage a fungible rite, and women as trading cards used to cement alliances. If it is not a “one and done” marriage, you better be single and celibate, or you cannot be an elder.
And if you are hot tempered, combative, enjoy arguing, and are arrogant — a blogger in other words — you probably belong in the pews. The humility is good for you.
The teaching here is clear. Elders are appointed but people with due (apostolic) authority — the word Bishop and Elder are generally synonyms and an artifact of translation presbyteros from the Kione Greek — the church is not a democracy. It’s as much about character as qualification.
And the role of elders includes confronting the memes of this age: be they a tendency to use the law as set of rules and not a guide (as it was in Titus’ Crete) or the current politics of identity, and the demand that all proclivities and perversions shall have a place within the circle of governance, and that none will be damned.
