Virtue comes for virtuus — which is how the Romans translated arete in Gk — correct and manly living. The Romans saw it very much around the duty of a man, and combined with dignitas — serious mindedness, from which we get dignity and with (as far as I can remember, my Latin is rusty) the idea of power, moral leadership or the ability to intimidate, to have mana or clout. Alte pointed out that not all Christian men are pansies, and when challenged replied.
Virtue and faith are not synonymous. You can be very virtuous and still end up going to Hell, or lack much virtue and still end up going to Heaven. It’s not an orthopraxic religion, but a primarily orthodox one.
Virtue is the formation of good habits and sound character. Anyone can do that, it’s just that it’s easier to do it with the help of grace.
This feeds into a conversation I had with a son yesterday. The local arts education people had been around with a “Be yourself” propaganda play — which was too loud, had a female nerd protagonist (for a boys school) and when he commented — correctly — that the real message was “be yourself but only in approved ways” he was mocked. So we discussed how being manly is around discipline and production, it is something you make yourself not something you are given. The boy has good analytical skills, which he sensibly does not use much at school, where the feminist tropes are preached daily, as per the national curriculum.
But this leads to men becoming feminine. In the church and out of it.
Novaseeker commented:
The problem is that the way that the church generally works here in the West is such that the non-pansy men are generally self-selecting themselves out of church – at least when they are single. This is because the churches generally do not reach the more masculine young men pretty much at all – a few odd exceptions here and there aside. Young people in general tend to drift away from church, of course, but in most churches it’s more young men than young women, and the young men who are showing up when they are young singles are disproportionately the kind of men who are reached by an often rather feminized, if not outright feminist, approach in these churches, while the other guys have mostly self-selected themselves out because it just doesn’t fit them. In Orthodoxy the situation is slightly better, particularly in more traditional parishes, but only slightly (outside the West, that’s a different story, but we’re not outside the West here). The same holds true for the truly trad Catholic parishes, but these are also not numerous, either.
Of course some of these guys come back to church after they marry, and so there is more diversity among the married guys at most churches than there is among the single ones, in terms of the kinds of masculinity you see displayed. Over time, many of these guys get progressively whipped, of course, but not all of them. Nevertheless, this doesn’t seem to help the issue with the young single guys in the churches – or the lack of the more masculine variants thereof.
I am fairly geeky, with geeky, introverted sons. Both of whom hate youth group. The idea of sharing their feelings, particularly when girls are around, and being vulnerable, repulses them. So we go to church, then leave and go somewhere for an explore — generally up a trail we have not been on before. Sharing? Meh.
Meet us for coffee or go for a walk. And we attend a geek church, in an academic town. At least our pastor knows that — the men’s fellowship has movies with NO discussion following it, and that is the correct way to do it.
There is nothing wrong with Christian men. They don’t need to act like players. I’m sorry, but I have now watched videos by two professional players, and these guys act like women. They also become more and more incoherent over time, if you compare their earlier and later videos. Over-exposure to strange poozle-juice must rot the male brain or something (I kid, I kid).
The problem with Christian men is that they are being cut off at the knees, as Dalrock has described. They are being trained to act icky and beta by too many small group Bible study curricula that are supposedly hard-core Christian but are really trad-con feminist foolishness (a la Dennis Rainey).
Voddie Baucham doesn’t weep in his sermons, he doesn’t usually make jokes about men, he doesn’t aid and abet women in rebelliousness, AND notice that he comes across as a normal, masculine man. Christianity isn’t the problem. Pastors appear to be the problem.
I’m going to say that the loss of the courting structure has not helped here. If there are limits on how long you can date — and at my age there are: we have to get home in time for dinner, you do a lot of coffee and going for walks.
And you can be more masculine, because it cannot lead anywhere. You can snog a bit, and enjoy it — you are not going to be in a place where you can move beyond that nor can you get a room (you have to get home to make dinner for the kids). This slows things down, stops sex goggles from occurring, and allows kids the time they need to work out what is going on. (The engineering diva is a geek, but a wise one). But is also allows for a bit of enjoyment of the barnyard dance.
The current trope, in church and out of it, is if you are in love you should just move in and share bedrooms and bacteria. This is not the way a man or woman of God should deal with this. But, since we have no structure, and we have sexual harassment rules within the church (and no structure) the adaptive thing to do is to withdraw and not lead.
Or not be there.
Our forefathers knew that lust existed, and it could be good. But it needed to be channeled. Hence the courting couple were invited on the family walk… but the family was there — and then once the couple knew they liked each other and the marriage contract was drawn up, the engagement was short, because most healthy young animals can restrain themselves for a short time and not a long one.
Back to my son. I advised him that in a couple to five years he will be seen as a high catch — for he will have prospects, he will have a job, and he can, if he improves himself, have more power — and he knows power is attractive to women. And then he will find a Christian geekette.
But be yourself? A lie.
Be gentle and caring? Does not work.
Men of God are too busy doing their job to be nice, compliant, and wusses. Be that.
