We often talk about David as blessed by God. And that he was. But at the time of this passage, he is living as an outlaw, and he is fairly good at obtaining supplies. He also, like most warriors, has a short fuse and a murderously vengeful arm. The current narrative of the church about religion of peace, and peace keeping? Nah.
David would cheerfully murder entire villages.
Nabal called him a rebel and refused to give him supplies. Nabal was going to die, but his wife, Abigail, was quick-witted. So the first point is that God uses who he will and who is available. Not those who are perfect, but often people who have erred horribly.
23When Abigail saw David, she hurried and alighted from the donkey, and fell before David on her face, bowing to the ground. 24She fell at his feet and said, “Upon me alone, my lord, be the guilt; please let your servant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your servant. 25My lord, do not take seriously this ill-natured fellow Nabal; for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him; but I, your servant, did not see the young men of my lord, whom you sent.
26“Now then, my lord, as the LORD lives, and as you yourself live, since the LORD has restrained you from bloodguilt and from taking vengeance with your own hand, now let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my lord be like Nabal. 27And now let this present that your servant has brought to my lord be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28Please forgive the trespass of your servant; for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the LORD; and evil shall not be found in you as long as you live. 29If anyone should rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living under the care of the LORD your God; but the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling. 30When the LORD has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you, and has appointed you prince over Israel, 31my lord shall have no cause of grief, or pangs of conscience, for having shed blood without cause or for having saved himself. And when the LORD has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant.”
32David said to Abigail, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Israel, who sent you to meet me today! 33Blessed be your good sense, and blessed be you, who have kept me today from bloodguilt and from avenging myself by my own hand! 34For as surely as the LORD the God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, truly by morning there would not have been left to Nabal as much as one male.” 35Then David received from her hand what she had brought him; he said to her, “Go up to your house in peace; see, I have heeded your voice, and I have granted your petition.”
36Abigail came to Nabal; he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; so she told him nothing at all until the morning light. 37In the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him; he became like a stone. 38About ten days later the LORD struck Nabal, and he died.
39When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, “Blessed be the LORD who has judged the case of Nabal’s insult to me, and has kept back his servant from evil; the LORD has returned the evildoing of Nabal upon his own head.” Then David sent and wooed Abigail, to make her his wife. 40When David’s servants came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, “David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.” 41She rose and bowed down, with her face to the ground, and said, “Your servant is a slave to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.” 42Abigail got up hurriedly and rode away on a donkey; her five maids attended her. She went after the messengers of David and became his wife.
43David also married Ahinoam of Jezreel; both of them became his wives. 44Saul had given his daughter Michal, David’s wife, to Palti son of Laish, who was from Gallim.
Abigail did three things.
Firstly, she arrived and gave a speech. couched with flattery, but reminding David that if he murdered the bloodguilt would be his. Murder was punished by the avenger of blood tracking down the person and then the local elders having a trial followed by a fairly painful execution.
Secondly, she had the supplies that the men needed in her train and she made sure that David knew they came from her husband and Lord, Nabal.
THirdly, she acted and did not wait for permission. She told him, (while Nabal was hungover) but she knew that at sometimes you need to sort the problem out urgently (for this was an urgent problem: David had unleashed the dogs of war) and now wait for headquarters to give permission. Abigail is an example of it being better, at times to beg forgiveness than ask permission.
And then Abigail remained with her idiot husband until he died. After that, she was asked to be one of David’s wives (a king having multiple wives was against the Law, but David had two main flaws: his temper and his horndogging). For nobles, women were pawns for alliances: but there are variations in this. Abigail saw David as a man who would be king, and was not unhappy to marry him — he was the king to come. However, Saul’s daughter, the princess Michal, later lost that desire when she waw him dance before the Lord in what she thought was an uncouth and lewd manner. She did not see him as a leader.
Women haw not changed, and neither have men. The violence inherent in men can often be turned away by a wise word, given at times by a person who society would see as a pawn int he great game of politics. Part of Abigail’s wisdom and discernment was knowing when to act in what was truly the best interests for Nabal, her husband, and how to present and sell this to David, accepting the risk that she may have been cast aside in the same manner that Saul disposed of Michal to another courtier.
She needed to discern the issue, and have the courage to act. She needed to know , in short, how to lead from an inferior position, leadership from below.