As far as I can tell, the Woman and the Dragon is no more. The last post that went up was a guest post, and it gives an example of the kind of erroneous teaching that exists, with assumptions about niceness and non confrontatin that have very little to do with the nature of Jesus or his methods of teaching.

Reader Farm Boy complained noted:

There sure have been lots of posts lately about stuff on women’s checklists.

Fear not, Farm Boy! I am now going to post some recent good advice to women about how to meet some of the criteria on men’s checklists.

Hmm. I am having trouble finding any. Actually, most of the modern advice on dating, love, and marriage geared toward women seems pretty bad. Take, for instance this article from She Knows, a popular women’s website, 10 Things Every Woman Should Demand from a Man. Let’s see what kind of advice modern women receive on relationship formation:

YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLE LIST

Each woman has her own completely legitimate set of criteria – can’t have back hair, must have health insurance, should have twins running in his family, loves to rollerskate, is George-Clooney charming, prefers wine to beer and so on. But there are certain conditions beyond honesty, respect and good communication (the trifecta of any relationship foundation) that every woman, no matter what your taste in men, deserves to have in her life’s co-pilot. Here’s a checklist for what you should demand from your man.

10. A GROWN UP.

A healthy relationship begins with two people who come together already completed, mature and ready for the great responsibilities that come with love. Simply, it is not a woman’s job to raise her man. Your Mr. Right should not rely on you to be his life mechanic — you’re not there to fix his financial, psychological or emotional problems. He needs to have healed his mistakes and hurts of the past and now be solid and whole so that he is able to face new challenges confidently when they arise, as well as be a strong support system for you.

9. TO FEEL HOT!

Assuming you are putting in the effort to maintain your appearance, it is your man’s duty to lust after you – to remind you that you’ve got it going on. From complimenting you on an outfit to noticing a new haircut to a for-no-reason-at-all “you are so beautiful” reminder message, your guy should make you feel gorgeous.

8. BELLY LAUGHS.

While your man doesn’t need to be a stand-up comedian, he should be able to spike your days with a dose of laughter. Life can be hard, and your guy needs to be someone who is dedicated to turning your cloudy days blindingly sunny. We all know laughter is the best medicine, and having it as a primary ingredient in a relationship recipe is critical to its short- and long-term health.

7. PRIORITIZATION.

No matter how in-demand your man is, you should be No. 1 on his speed dial, and never should he bypass a call from you for someone else. It is key for you to know that you can count on him for anything and everything, always. This doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t have a life — he should. It just means that he should be looking out for yours.

6. GREAT SEX.

There is no excuse for a man not deliver in the bedroom… if he wants to. After all, there are plenty of tutorials in the form of porn, magazine how tos or girlfriends willing to be tour guides to help them get it right. Living a sexually unsatisfied life isn’t living at all. If a man isn’t willing to put forth the effort to learn what it takes to turn you on, it is time to turn him off.

5. BUTTERFLIES, STILL.

When apart for a few hours or a few weeks, for no pinpointable reason, reconnecting with your man ought to give you the warm-and-fuzzies, even after countless kisses, unlimited hand-holds and hugs galore. Maintaining the butterfly feeling is proof that your guy is putting forth the effort to keep romance alive.

4. FREEDOM.

Freedom is an excellent indicator that your man trusts you. Freedom comes in many forms – freedom to have a girls-only weekend in Mexico, freedom to explore a new career, freedom to be alone – all of which circle back to your man trusting your decisions and giving you space for your own growth.

3. UTTER ADORATION.

Inside and out, every quirk, every “flaw”, every everything about you should be understood and adored by your man. Never should you feel the tendency to be a chameleon, adapting to what you think he wants you to be. You should already be everything he needs. A good guy will go the extra mile to make you feel great about your insecurities.

2. A SAFE PLACE TO BE 100-PERCENT YOU.

In a healthy relationship, you should feel safe, liberated and loved enough to be who you are – all the dimensions of your being – all the time… figuratively naked. So if that means you are a buttoned-up badass by day and someone who dances around singing into a hairbrush by night, so be it. A forever-guy will not only allow it, he will love it.

1. PATIENCE, GENEROSITY AND CONSIDERATION.

These are the triplets of kindness, each one of equal importance. Patience means he can deal with tension calmly and productively, looking at life’s challenges as opportunities to teach and to learn. Generosity of mind, spirit, heart, wealth, time – anything you want to share (even dessert!) – your guy must want to share equally with you. And finally, your man should be considerate of your feelings, your time and your goals. He should be considerate of how his decisions impact you.

Tack these demands onto your mirror and use them as affirmations. The right man will come along when you have the courage to stand your ground. Hey, it’s your life and your every happiness, right?

Once upon a time, good relationship advice was handed down from mother to daughter. From The Mother’s Guide and Daughter’s Friend, published in 1890, let us read a few excerpts from a chapter entitled “A Helpmeet”:

Does your husband love to see things in order, then be careful and keep the house in good shape. Does he love a good dinner, then study your cook book and study his tastes. Does he like to be caressed, do your prettiest in that line. Does he admire beauty in women, then dress neatly and tidily and try to keep clean and in good health, and meet him with a smile. Is he a man of literary tastes, cultivate your literary taste, and be appreciative of his ability. If he loves beautiful things, study house decorations and defer to his tastes….

Most men like to be petted and deferred to. A wife may defer to her husband’s opinion and not lose her own independence nor lower herself in any way. The truly polite person is the one who is a good listener; who treats no one’s opinion lightly. A woman need only to be truly polite to her husband [...]

Does the man meet with disappointment and failure in business, the wife should not chide him, should not mope and sulk and wonder how they are going to get along now, but meet him with words of encouragement and love [...]

Man feels the need of recreation, perhaps, more than women, because his work is severer for the time he is at it. Women have more little breaks upon the monotony of their labor. They can chat a moment over the back fence with a neighbor, take up a book and read for a few minutes while the kettle boils, take a nap in the afternoon, go out for an hour’s walk, or call upon a friend; but the man toils in his office, or store, or in the field for hours at a stretch, and then, perhaps, must think over his work outside of business hours. If then, he relishes hunting and fishing, has a passion for dogs or horses, or “goes crazy” in the collection of a cabinet of natural history specimens, or something of the kind, you should have charity for his peculiarities, and do not come to the conclusion that he thinks more of such things than he does of you.

Modern women are not different creatures than women in 1890 were. The difference is that back then, older women specifically trained young women to be selfless, loving, giving, kind, useful helpmeets who were an asset to a family-minded man, rather than vain, foolish, self-centered, entitled, obnoxious narcissists.

Women: Most of the relationship advice you will find nowadays is worse than useless. Ignore it. Bad advice is worse than no advice at all.

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

This is worth saving from the slush pile.

And if anyone disagrees, the comboxes are open.

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