Last night I went off on a deviation looking at some very good advice for women — and at times having given such advice to young men> I was left with a sentence that resonated.
That if a man does not want to get married, no amount of persuasion, preening and perfume will change his mind. Conversely, if a woman does not want to commit to a marriage and accept the duties that a marriage includes — which include submitting to her husband — then it does not matted how much “game” or “frame” you have. She is in rebellion.
For in Christ we do not have to get married. We can choose to be single. The single life given to Christ has always been honoured. It has always been part of sound doctrine. But for most of us, we have families, we have jobs, and we need advice, for those roles have duties, and if we do not fulfil them the church is discredited.
1But as for you, teach what is consistent with sound doctrine. 2Tell the older men to be temperate, serious, prudent, and sound in faith, in love, and in endurance.
3Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, 4so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.
6Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. 7Show yourself in all respects a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, gravity, 8and sound speech that cannot be censured; then any opponent will be put to shame, having nothing evil to say of us.
9Tell slaves to be submissive to their masters and to give satisfaction in every respect; they are not to talk back, 10not to pilfer, but to show complete and perfect fidelity, so that in everything they may be an ornament to the doctrine of God our Savior.
Titus is very clear here. Teaching young women how to love, and how to manage their households, is the work of older women — ranging from how to find the good vegetables and fish to running a budget to handling unemployment. Being a wife meant running a household: managing slaves and children.
And there had to be teaching on slavery, for at least half the population of the Roman Imperial system were not freemen. But this is not controversial. Do a good job, young man… no issues. Be self-controlled: not an issue, teaching with wisdom and integrity, keeping to the gospel — not an issue.
But not submitting to your husband, rebelling, destroying the family structure — that brings the church into disrepute. That breaks churches. It is therefore not unexpected that the very institution of marriage and the family ahs been attacked — to the point where, when a church stands firm, trumping up charges of abuse and taking all the children into care, as happened to the Amish in Manitoba earlier this year.
We are called not to be like this. As a man, my role is not to teach on some of these issues — so I read and I quote women who (despite their circumstances) have managed to live as Godly a Married life and blog about it. For many of them explicitly blog because of this passage.
And I pray for my daughter, grand-daughter, nieces and the young women of the congregation. For the world tells them to sleep around and become one of the party girls — at the same time that the men of the church are not prepared to stand up and teach the scripture (which includes being a backstop for women-to-woman ministry). They see wimps in the church… and the bad boys without are tempting. I pray the church will reform, and the righteous men of God are there for this generation of teens for God.
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