Why link when you can quote?
Kristor on why he has hope for the androsphere, since if you reject one form of politically correct propaganda you become open to rejecting other parts of this and rediscovering wisdom and sagicity.
The supramundane man (called “the sage” in the traditional literature of all cultures) can understand his personal moral struggle as participant to the War in Heaven, and pledge glad fealty to his Lord and Captain in the battle, knowing certainly that he fights on the side of the Good, whose eventual and complete victory is metaphysically assured, so that no sacrifice he might be called upon to make can possibly be vain. He can be happy about the essence of things, no matter how poor, barren or dire his own accidents. He can be serene, and even wise.
The mundane man, by contrast, is pledged to a hopeless, bootless, endless struggle on a darkling plain, where ignorant armies clash by night; where, since the warriors all die without ultimate causal significance, in chaos and dissolution, the whole shooting match is essentially meaningless and stupid.
Kristor forgot to add that nihilism is boring. And that being wise, being gracious, being charming, is a skill you can learn, and that men used to learn. That young whippersnapper of an economist has this to say on that subject.
Charm, I have to chalk up to my Uncle Jeff who, though a wonderful man, was very short and bald. He had to develop his charm and he did to the point I would say he was the epitome of it. He was sharp. He was witty. He was intelligent. And he was a natural. He always had the right thing to say to crack a smile in others AND (most importantly) it wasn’t rehearsed. He was smart enough and quick enough that he WAS charming so it came off as natural and genuine because he was.
Being a nerdy skinny kid myself in my youth, I started focusing my efforts to become like Uncle Jeff. I would try to be witty, practice and form the art of dry wit. TO this I added watching Cary Grant flicks, Humphrey Bogart flicks, and Jimmy Stewart movies, developing a repertoire of quotes no girl my age would recognize as plagiarism. And sure enough, over time, growing taller, learning to dance, lifting weights, working out, riding motorcycles, etc., I developed into the devastatingly charming man that I am today.
This includes raising kids. At times you have to tell your very intelligent and sensitive and talented and gosh darn brilliant child that they are acting like a stoned chimpanzee This is a comment from the Ironwoods’ attempt or reboot the patriarchy…. as he says Girls without Daddy Issues don’t become strippers.
The first rule of Dad Fight Club is do not talk about being Dad. You be him, and don’t listen to busybodies who have no good info for you. I never did. Second rule is: embrace your male tendency to get MAD. Which does not mean derision or even punishment. The kid acts up, you EXPLODE. But then you show them how male anger works: it’s out there, then it’s gone, then you EXPLAIN why you got mad (don’t apologize for it unless you were mistaken about what made you mad, then you own up to it). You play this right and there will never be a need for spanking – the kid THINKS you’re crazy enough to do something bad just for a second, gets a good scare, then you dial it down. Just as effective as a discipline tool, maybe more so. Only dads can do it.
And of course, third rule: encourage SELF-CONFIDENCE – your kid’s first thought should be “I can learn to do this ” – rather than self esteem, which actually comes bundled with self-confidence. But also requires trying and failing until you learn.
Funny thing is, when I became a dad all of this just sprung out of nowhere. No one told me I couldn’t do it. No political re-education. No book taught it to me, though I’ve read much on it since, but still do what I do anyway. My wife and I made a deal: she can’t overrule me, and I don’t overrule her when it comes to parenting decisions. We may discuss and refine later between us, but we always support each other’s decisions and present a united front.
No I’m no one special and I don’t deserve a trophy. My point is: ALL OF YOU CAN DO THIS TOO.
And, like the Ironwoods, I think society has discounted one of the tasks of men. And that is that of training the next generation. Young men won’t listen to a woman… or a weak man. They WILL listen to a drill sergeant. They will understand rules and consequences. One of the roles of a father is to be scarey and to be angry. It is that, projected, that keeps the skeezy boyfriends from coming around with their artificial THCs (in NZ we don’t have spice, we have Kronic, and the stuff is legal and evil) or tells the guidance counsellor that yes, their concerns are noted, and we will sort it. As a father you weigh your words and you build up mana — power, influence — to protect your children and to enforce that protection. As a father you also go the gym and remain fit because at times you will need to physically enforce that protection.
You will not trust the state because the state does not want the best for your children.
And you will study — how to be charming, how to persuade, how to dress… so that your sons will be charming, will become patriarchs, and then achieve wisdom and be sages.
And the wiser women will be quietly supportive. I like how Elspeth explains this, and how the hyper dependence of younger woman again indicates a lack of discernment and training… from their mothers (and fathers).
Not being open to any and everyone’s thoughts and opinions doesn’t mean you are invulnerable. It simply means you choose very carefully who you make yourselves vulnerable to. SAM has my heart in his hands, of course. There are a few select people (2 in fact) who can pierce me deeply with a word, a couple more whom I respect for their example and proof of faith, and some I respect for their knowledge.
The new femininity, where women are all smiley all the time, gush over every baby they see, cry at weddings, and bend over backwards to please every whim and appease every voice? I don’t think that was historically something women were praised for. Our tendency to flightiness was acknowledged, but not rewarded.
It’s too much work for a man to shoulder someone like that. Not only does he not know what he is going to face when he walks through the door each day, but he has to worry about whose influence she has allowed herself to come under while he was away at work, or extra busy, or just in a season where his attention is diverted.
Neediness is detrimental.
We should ignore the memes about self esteem. We should not train our children to be victims. Instead, we should train them to be discerning, strong, wise, interdependant, and skilled. We should teach them the skills of spiritual formation and then pray that they become righteous. And most of this is not done by formal methods, but by action, by example.
With words only as needed.