Dark Brightness

Bleak Theology: Hopeful Science

Comment at the Dragon, for BF.

I need to start before the comment with something that BF has said.

[…] as well as the status boost among other women (“so, look who landed herself a man!”)…often lead her to ridicule HERSELF: and the proposed “solution” is for her to surrender her virtue

There’s definitely pressure for virgins to hook-up just to get it over with.

As a teenager, there were quite a few moments where I regretted saying no. I mean, I wanted to save myself until marriage; but I didn’t want to be an absolute social pariah. I would lie if other girls asked me if I was a virgin.

Honestly, I find the logic of this blogpost somewhat virgin-shaming [even if that wasn’t SSM’s intention]. By claiming women are incapable of controlling themselves around Alphas, it implies virgins are the freaks Alphas aren’t pursuing.

When “lack of opportunity” is considered the only way a woman can remain a virgin – than it’s in a virgin’s best interest to lose it. The longer a virgin exercises self-control, the more of a loser they become [or at least that’s how it is here in America. In Japan it’s pretty much the exact opposite]

Now, BF and I don’t disagree. We believe that women are moral agents. But this has been lost.  So, to bring my comment back from the bottom of the comment pile…

Well, let’s start by considering what the symbolism of virginity is. Firstly, it tells everyone that you are a moral agent: you are able to resist temptation. A good example of this is the old poems we used to teach children, which are quite violent, but have the child as a moral agent fighting monsters. A good way to get hold of this is to look at Natalie Merchant’s TED talk.

Every woman who is chaste is a rebuke to the lies of this world: that say that you have no moral agency. Every man who is capable of charming women and chooses to be choosy and wait is a rebuke to the pick up artists.

Between blogging I had a phone call from my Dad who asked for prayers for a person in his support group who has started sleeping with his girlfriend. Every time this happens the temptation to charm someone out of their knickers returns.

Chastity is the mercy that allows us to meet. We need sex off the the table to be buman. And the celibate and continent can teach us hugely. Consider this version of Manly Hopkins poem “Spring and Fall”

I then linked to Natalie’s version of Manly Hopkins poem for a child grieving. However, there is a lo fi but more powerful version of this song, and I’m attaching it here.

My father asked me to pray for his friend who is single, and yeilding to temptation. If I pray for him, I need to pray for me. It is not lack of people it is the consequences to my family that hold me out of the same sin. I am no saint, nor a natural monk. This is part of the blight we are born for. And the way we handle it matters.

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