Uxuriousness is not forbidden but is not compulsory.

ux·o·ri·ous  adj.

One of the processes that is going on in our society at the moment was nicely described by St. Velvet

This – it’s the criminalization of being a normal family basically. It’s the first chink in the armor of subsidiarity if you think about it – everyone forever turning in their spouses and children for “the good of society” instead of just handling things. Serious criminal behavior needs official attention, but turning in your teenager for smoking pot should be considered an embarrassment. A kid should be more scared of what his parents (his crazy mom and thug dad, lol) or Church community will do than the 10 hours of community service juvenile court is going to assign, if that. (of course, now if they do carry out discipline, the kid turns them in)

Now, this is seen by the secular state as wrong. The state must micromanage. The staat mus be in control. To do this, the authority of all parents is subverted.  Alte describes the dynamic of what a Catholic family (she’s a Papist, and she lives in this way) functions like

Yes, that’s the central conundrum of our times, isn’t it? The men who appear more “desperate” get turned away, while the men who appear more “aloof” are sought after. So women are inclined to choose men who don’t really value them over those who would cherish them.

But complementarianism is the best answer to our fallen nature. Christian men who have a natural disinterest (the pagan virtue, which implies impartiality) borne of adhering strictly to principles and taking their leadership role very seriously, rather than allowing themselves to be swayed and manipulated by every female whim — even when it comes from the woman they desire most. So their integrity is… well… sort of hot.

I struggle with that a lot. I complain whenever my husband doesn’t do what I want, but then I obsess over him and fantasize about him, which he finds rather funny. So he’s learned to listen to me, then do what he thinks is right (even if it’s not my recommendation), allow the chips to fall where they may, wait for the inevitable pouting to pass, and then let me crawl back. Once a man’s had that happen a few times, he just resigns himself to the tedious process and does as he pleases, while rolling his eyes that women insist on making everything so complicated. Women love to complain about such men and paint them as tyrants, but we keep having sex with them, so actions speak louder than words. We’re just giving voice to our perpetual inner conflict. We know, deep down, that they’d bleed for us, but they don’t walk around with it written on their sleeves and embarrass themselves. Shrewd women can discern that deep love, but appreciate the overlying integrity and the strength of character that dichotomy implies, so they tend to make better mate choices.

A man who understands that is perhaps not as “scary hot” as someone who is outright dangerous and coarse, but he’s much more valuable to any woman who isn’t completely touched in the head. We want to be taken seriously, but we don’t want to lead

Now there used to be a sin, a weakness. It was called uxorious — being a wimp around your wife. We have trained two generations of men, in the church and out of it, to defer to women. I confess I was taught this — in part — because the feminist movement really took off when I was in school.  At university, we were told we were all oppressors and rapists. Since I like women, I tried to placate and please them. Mistake. You become boring and she becomes unhappy.

And the divoree rate soars. As this happens, the secular world is doubling down and criminalising any sign of aggression. Violence is not verbal. You cannot raise your voice, lose your temper.

You cannot be human. You can definitely not be male. And you will not be authentic.   For by making deferring to the wife mandatory, the system is treating men as women with a penis.

The profound irony and tragedy is that if we act that way, our bodies betray us. We no longer desire each other, and live in the other mandatory state: married celibacy

It is time thus to ignore the civil law, live according to the teachings of Paul, Christ, the Law and the Prophets, and resurrect the masculine virtues. This civil state will die. The church, however, will not.