I’m not sure what’s going on, but Paige is being pragmatic about the current culture yet wanting to be fair. She said (over at Dalrock).

We don’t live in a culture where even a tiny percentage of men are willing to get married before having sex. I would put it at like 1 in 100 unless you live in a very conservatively religious community.

via Why are so many tradional conservative women obsessed with making sure hookups are fair? | Dalrock.

Um, no.

I’m too burnt. And I get infatuated with women fairly easily. Sex — particularly early sex — screws with my reasoning and makes me (generally driven by my lovely sense of shame and guilt) to want to marry forthwiith.

If I do want to have sex — then I don’t want to do it beforehand. Because i need the emotional remoteness to be able to think of the contract I’m getting into. A marriage — indeed living de facto — can be destructive in to days legal environment and therefore single people should marry with caution. That, as far as New Zealand law is concerned, i you live together for an (undefined) period or have a child you are in a civil union and 50% of any property is your partners on separation.

So… before I go there, I want to know somethings. These are the questions in my mind. I’m assuming that I am really attracted to her and she is to me.

1. Do we share a faith? is hers real? Are there major differences in theology?
2. Does she have a clue? Is she competent in her area?Does this generalise? Is she able to stop and reason?
3. Where is her money? Does she have trusts?
4. Will she put her assets aside for any children she has?
5. Is she a sane mother (if a mother, if not, how does she handle being around kids)
6. Is she fit? If she has medical problems — are they under control?
7. Does she enjoy being a woman and caring for a home — or is she a slattern?

At the moment there is no person in my life. At my age, the sane, fit, womanly, financially prudent, caring mothers who have remained attractive… are married.

And if she meets all these criteria there is one more question that requires prayer, fasting and thought together — is this relationship going to benefit our families, church and community? Is it of God?

And then, only then, do I want to commit and prepare (breifly) for marriage. Because at that point I am not really interested in the wedding, I’m interested in getting another divorce. I’m not going to take the risk unless I am convinced it is of God.

There is a good reason to delay the choice, but then act rapidly. For I am aware that I am not a monk.