We do not have spirituality, but the Spirit. We do not have Oprah, but love. [I Jn 4]

Glenn Reynolds (Instapundit) pointed out that Dalrock had gone theological when he said that the modern church confuses love with being nice. We also confuse it with lust and over sharing; in the false thought that sharing is going to make things better, instead of abrading the boundaries that should exist. This is not a mere issue of clothing or coverage, but one of gossip: an expectation that we are all stars in our own reality show, and that people attend to our petty dramas as if we were some celebrity.

And that expectation is why the wiser celebrities avoid the towns where paparazzi lurk.

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The heart is easily damaged by exposure
and the sacramental nature of marriage is so deeply mysterious that any attempt to put it on display is to sully it with worldly concerns, like dropping the Host in the mud. Like a darkened church with closed doors, so is the marriage bed.

The Oprahfied culture of ‘sharing’ and scar worship does not have respect for such things. We can talk about foundations and important things while leaving details where they belong – in that sacred space where a one flesh couple dwells with God. Materialism attempts to protect the body with clothing while neglecting the heart, and mistakes a lack of willingness to do either with some defect, particularly of emotion.

Those who constantly wear their hearts on their sleeves in an undiscerning manner, however, may be the more emotionally shallow. That has at least been my experience. The hurt they experience is more about a bruised ego, something they are withholding, some façade they are maintaining, than it is about depth. The fierceness with which they defend their projections only shows the hollow space behind them.

What then is love? Well the text today helps. For we are told God is love, and God incarnate came and died for our sake. Which was not that much about feelings. Jesus did not want that cup, but did his duty. Love is providing: love is acting for the other’s best interests. Love is discriminate and looks at a person and considers what is best for them, and love puts the other before yourself.

This is different from lust. Lust is indiscriminate. Lust conquers. Love is merely about pleasure and control. Lost may keep a liaison or affair going, but it cannot raise a child.

And the secular conflation of the two words — if you want to be polite, use eros and agape — means that we displace our vows for attraction. Forgetting the sacramental nature of the marital bed: forgetting that the vows keep the marriage not our emotions, for anyone who has honest will say that their spouse at times irritated them like no other.

But these things are now betrayed. and we are left with Oprah, not healing.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

(1 John 4:7-21 ESV)

What are we supposed to do within the church? Care for each other. Be practical. Look after the brethren. And let not the memes of this world gome in and ruin everything. We need to stop talking about spirituality and feelings, and discover duty and sacrifice.

For it is not pleasure that takes me to work this morning, but my duty to my family and to my profession and patients. It is not spirituality that drives me to the harder passages of the Bible, but the need to continually examine my life and ways, and reform what is wanting.

We do not have spirituality, that is for Pagans. We have the Holy Spirit. Or the word and works of God are not within us.