Comments on: The epidemic of frivorce.

By: CH

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:55:38 +0000

Chris, it’s taken me nearly a decade to pound this rubble of divorce into a tougher foundation to avoid such future mistakes. I grew up in the Southern US, ‘The Bible Belt’ as it was once called. I grew up Baptist. My parents sent me to very, very legalistic schools (something they regret now—but they were trying to give me a foundation) and thus, most of my life, I heard the Word about how bad divorce is in the eyes of God.

When I divorced my ex-wife a decade ago, my world fell apart. I’d FAILED Christianity 101 in my eyes. Instead of seeking God out to heal and rectify, I ran. Stayed on the run for years, spiritually. For some time, I all but hated everyone and everything. I was looking at things in the wrong context. I reacted with emotion and continued to do so for so many years. It wasn’t until life kicked my ass (two bouts of unemployment, both over a year long, loss of all my assets, savings, etc.) that I knew I had to gain a new perspective. I have now, and it’s more precious to me than gold.

But you’re right: the consequences never leave. I am disqualified from many things. This is the crow I hate eating. Nonetheless, it’s my own to dine on often.

I reckon all we can do is continue pounding the rubble until it’s fine enough to mix into a concrete foundation. Perhaps there is no complete restoration for us; and yet how God has shown us Truth through the rubble never ceases to astound me.

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By: pukeko

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 05:29:30 +0000

@Looking Glass: the p0rn is universal, and is now being shared on cellphones in primary school (year 5 or 6: grade 6 or 7) and is a concern for the educators.

@Bike
I am reformed, and I consider that licit divorce (which is another discussion) leaves the remaining party free to remarry. The question then is what is licit divorce. Calvin was very reluctant to allow any divorce because he could see that this would open a floodgate for people to “move on” — which the Reformed have kept a lid on … barely … until this generation or so. The Romans now have a problem where “annulment” — which is supposed to be about undoing that which was never licit in the first places such as inadvertent incest — has become in effect no fault divorce.

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By: bike bubba

Tue, 10 Feb 2015 22:00:14 +0000

What a blessing that Mrs. Bubba has hardly a hint of feminism in her. I had to tell her what NOW (National Association of Gals) was when we married.

I take it that you feel you ought not marry your photographer friend because you’ve been divorced? I wrestle with that one, though thankfully not totally needfully–and wonder if a lot of divorced people are freed as their exes go on to other people.

A lot hangs on that interesting phrase “except for sexual immorality,” and I can respect those who (a) decide that even if their spouse had committed adultery (before or after filing for divorce), they’re not going to remarry, or who (b) see the spouse’s adultery as a concession that they are “dead” to the former spouse, and they are free to remarry. (the latter is Doug Wilson’s position, if I’m stating it correctly)

Best to you!

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By: Looking Glass

Tue, 10 Feb 2015 20:41:28 +0000

Back when I was fast-tracking towards an academic career, a “wife” was something I was going to look to acquire in Grad School. I didn’t quite make it to Grad School, but I lived a much less messy existence than those around me that wanted relationships.

It really comes down to commitment, in the end. If both parties aren’t “in it to be in it forever”, all it really results in is stress & drama. Seeking that out isn’t Godly, and creating it intentionally is rarely Wise. It’s avoiding the porn that’s the problem our Young Men face, considering it’s pretty much everywhere.

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