@amerika_blog They're called HIP marriages now – High Investment Parenting marriages.
— Sunshine Mary (@SunshineMarySSM) June 6, 2014
I saw this at Dalrock’s place and it flows on from the unfashionable teaching about Christian duties for men. If women want the power in the marriage, they need justifiable means to blow it up, and the ability to recruit other men to tame their husbands. This is the consequence of feminist Christianity, and the absence of men within the church is not a bug, but a feature. For men are seen as the oppressor, the evil ones, because penis.
I am not here talking about brutality: there are clear commands against that. We are told to love our wives. But wives are told to submit and honour their husbands. We are not told to wait for him to be perfect, or to not have faults. However this has been distorted. It is now read that unless a husband loves his wife as Christ did, regardless of her behaviour, then she has every right to call him abusive he makes a single demand, and unfaithful if he looks at the newstand in the supermarket because the starlet du jour is on the front cover in her bikini.
This puts men in the position where they know their marriage can and will blow up at any moment. There are three responses: one is to de invest from this, and become remote, uncaring, knowing it could end — this is taken to the extreme by the MGTOW folks who teach not only don’t marry but don’t associate with women, or become a supplicating doormat, or spend your effort using the tools of seduction (called “Game”) to keep your wife sexually interested. Of those, only the third has a chance of success.
The other alternative is to blow up the apostate church, and start again.
In the discussion of my last post Gunner Q suggested that the reason modern Christians don’t support biblical marriage is due to fear:
Perhaps the answer is that modern Christians just can’t accept the consequences of fighting no-fault divorce. Bucking the divorce trend would require binding standards of conduct, public excommunication of rebellious women, pressuring fathers to get their Princesses married instead of college-educated, political activism to restore traditional laws… seriously counter-cultural stuff.
I explained that it is far worse than this, and the lie that Christians are fighting the good fight (if only in their heads) is part of the apparatus which protects the status quo. The truth is that modern Christians are deeply invested in the new model of marriage. Fireproof took the teaching in 1 Pet 3 and switched the sexes, and Christians couldn’t find words suitable to express how delighted they were with this cross dressed version of Scripture. As I’ve shown in countless examples, modern Christians really like the new model, what I’ve dubbed the wakeup-call model of marriage. I have no doubt they wish that it didn’t result in as many divorces as it does, but credible threats of divorce are key to this new improved model of marriage. So an argument which claims that actual divorce isn’t required very often to keep wives in a position of headship will go over extremely well with modern Christians.
Oh dear. It appears that the Bible is wrong and Oprah is right. Or just perhaps, Oprah is damned apostate and the Bible is right. One cannot have it both ways.
Empirically, I see the consequences and find them wanting. A large number of heterosexual young men are simply avoiding young women. The costs and risks involved in a relationship are too great: and the dynamics involved within an intimate relationship so non politically correct that the zampolits would call any sexual relationship abusive. And the church tries to do therapy instead of preaching the gospel, and accepting that we are not part of this post modern era.
The bottom line is, Christ’s church is already, in many ways, underground. At least Christian marriage is. I think Jf12 essentially has the right idea. Communes, small communities of like minded folks. Regardless of the reasons church leaders won’t/can’t/don’t believe it/don’t preach it, this is not going to get better in our lifetimes. It may, many years from now. But those who believe in Christian marriage need to identify their footing correctly. It is a defensive one.
Agreed. And it is only in these small communities that the word of God is feared more than the lawsuit from the lawyers. It’s time to subvert the apostates. It’s time to live correctly and shame the leaders of our churches. For if we do that, then the Spirit will be with us: and more will be added to his kingdom.
And if we become apostate and abandon God, we were never his, and we will be held to account. It is indeed a fearful thing to be in the hands of a living God, and that is something no lawyer can weasel you out of.
I’m a MGTOW (in my fifth year) and my life is now much better as a result. Relationships with women have become toxic. I had a married women not too long ago tell me she would sleep with me anytime I wanted (I’m single – not that it matters anymore). Her husband made about four times less than I and she saw me as a way to move up the social ladder. Needless to say, I declined her offer. My X had an affair with her bosses boss (wealthier than I) and divorced me. Her mother had an affair with and later married her best friend’s husband (wealthier) from church (long time family “friends”). My mother cheated on my father to be with my step father because he was far wealthier than my father. My sister married a wealthy guy and cheated on him all throughout their marriage (now divorced). All of the aforementioned women were church goers.
The idea of marriage and family was once my greatest goal. Now? Not so much.
You’re a brilliant writer and I’m impressed by your work.
Thank you. I don’t think MGTOW is a final solution: a fair number of us do enjoy female company and for us it is better to marry than burn. We do need to redefine marriage, according to scripture,. but that will be a very difficult job