I want to deviate a little from theology this morning, in part because of something that most honorable knight wrote. I did not realize he was negro and it does not matter. Culture does matter, and culture can break things, but race less so. The theology is simple: we are all short of the Glory of God, and we all need Christ. However, many of us have forgotten this.
Everything that you might think makes sense for a man to be skilled at from a marriage point of view is viewed as creepy and weird by these church/campus-club unmarried Christian women, in my experience. I am a colored guy, so I always put their messed up standards down to the fact that I was colored and therefore was not allowed to talk to them, period. I was also surprised to see how little the command to “love your neighbor” was implemented by the unmarried Christian women. Here I was, struggling through a tough engineering program, and obviously coming from an unchurched background, yet these woman never had a supportive word for me. My interests in theology and apologetics and moral issues and politics were viewed by them with suspicion.
In retrospect, I would say the biggest argument against God’s existence I ever faced was the complete disconnect between what these women professed and how they treated others.
There was one exception. When I was a teen, I had an older college student mentor me and she helped me pick up my grades – especially in English. She eventually fell away from her faith (she was a cradle Catholic). But other than her, I basically was in my mid-30s before I met a Christian woman who had any respect for me because of the things that I could do as a Christian. And that was after over a decade of donations, organizing, training, mentoring, apologetics, etc. By that time, I had my BS and MS and a boatload of savings, and yet up till then, no unmarried Christian woman had ever given me the time of day. I was sort of stuck looking to white Christian women for validation, because most colored girls are liberal. But what I found is that they had no standard in their worldview that I could be graded against favorably, other than physical appearance.
Race exists. I have had to learn more about genetics recently, and one of the questions that we asked was how does one account for race, because the questionnaire classifying people is broken in many places and the laws do not make sense. We were told that it is easy to spot race and account for it in a GWAS. But culture matters. I should know: I was married to a Chinese woman for 20 years and spent those two decades living half inside that culture, but never quite accepted by it. My children are mixed race. One of the reasons Dunedin is so comfortable for us is that the Chinese have been part of the power structure, and intermarrying, since the Gold Rush in the 1860s.
I would not counsel my children to marry across cultures, because it is very difficult. That would includde marrying a non New Zealander. But I would counsel them, much more strongly, not to marry outside the faith. For in Christ we are one. And God hates racism.
1While they were at Hazeroth, Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married (for he had indeed married a Cushite woman); 2and they said, “Has the LORD spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?” And the LORD heard it. 3Now the man Moses was very humble, more so than anyone else on the face of the earth. 4Suddenly the LORD said to Moses, Aaron, and Miriam, “Come out, you three, to the tent of meeting.” So the three of them came out. 5Then the LORD came down in a pillar of cloud, and stood at the entrance of the tent, and called Aaron and Miriam; and they both came forward. 6And he said, “Hear my words: When there are prophets among you, I the LORD make myself known to them in visions; I speak to them in dreams. 7Not so with my servant Moses; he is entrusted with all my house. 8With him I speak face to face – clearly, not in riddles; and he beholds the form of the LORD. Why then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?” 9And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them, and he departed.
10When the cloud went away from over the tent, Miriam had become leprous, as white as snow. And Aaron turned towards Miriam and saw that she was leprous. 11Then Aaron said to Moses, “Oh, my lord, do not punish us for a sin that we have so foolishly committed. 12Do not let her be like one stillborn, whose flesh is half consumed when it comes out of its mother’s womb.” 13And Moses cried to the LORD, “O God, please heal her.” 14But the LORD said to Moses, “If her father had but spit in her face, would she not bear her shame for seven days? Let her be shut out of the camp for seven days, and after that she may be brought in again.” 15So Miriam was shut out of the camp for seven days; and the people did not set out on the march until Miriam had been brought in again. 16After that the people set out from Hazeroth, and camped in the wilderness of Paran.
12All who have sinned apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who have sinned under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous in God’s sight, but the doers of the law who will be justified. 14When Gentiles, who do not possess the law, do instinctively what the law requires, these, though not having the law, are a law to themselves. 15They show that what the law requires is written on their hearts, to which their own conscience also bears witness; and their conflicting thoughts will accuse or perhaps excuse them 16on the day when, according to my gospel, God, through Jesus Christ, will judge the secret thoughts of all.
17But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast of your relation to God 18and know his will and determine what is best because you are instructed in the law, 19and if you are sure that you are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, 20a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth, 21you, then, that teach others, will you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? 22You that forbid adultery, do you commit adultery? You that abhor idols, do you rob temples? 23You that boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? 24For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”
Now back to the Knight for a second. He has my empathy: I did an equally hard course and came from the poor part of town. And I did not understand how women choose men. But here Miriam gives us a clue. She treated Moses with contempt. Because he married a Cushite — and she was probably black. She looked at appearance and externalities. Women look at status and how you appear to the world: that is their nature, just as men look for fitness, facial symmetry and youth. It is more important that your prospective wife, young man, is of the faith and is prepared to live in a Christian marriage than be of your race. But you will have difficulties, if from nothing else but the fact your kids will probably not look like you. Mine don’t.
But we should not judge by appearance but by the fruits of our lives. We need to mentor all, for in Christ we are one.
Finally, young woman of God, choose a man who is being fruitful in Christ and can lead you. Do not look merely at his appearance or if he fits into the prettiness of your life. Most men are not pretty, in fact we can be downright ugly, injured, uncoordinated… and in that situation, without technique ad ignoring the forms that you think exist, effect change.
Reminds me of Monday night. The female trainer says the weights are too low…. but I know what my tendons can take, and easily beat all the women (the competition was total kilos lifted over 50 reps, six exercises) because where I am not injured I am strong. My issue is straining rotator cuffs, achilles, plantar fasciae: because I can “lift the stack” on most machines. But I keep that in check, as I generally keep my full intellectual horsepower in check.
Because was matters is not if one is strong or righteous, but the fruit of your life. Moses had great honour for the great changes he bought in, and the work God did through him. Miriam…. less so. And Miriam was painfully told what her place was. Miriam, who was a prophetess, was not without sin: none of us are.
So let us mentor those around us, and let us not look at skin colour or background, but look at the change in a person: is it for good or for bad? Are they producing fruit or weeds? The pretty can be pretty evil, and that quiet nerd in the back corner may be a mighty man or woman for God. Single ladies, pray for wisdom and discernment, and pray for the single men, even the old ones, like me, who have been broken by the family courts.
