Comments on: Fornication is not a sport. [I really hate divorce]

By: Marriage in ancient San Franvegas. [The sinner in all this is us.] | Dark Brightness

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 19:07:48 +0000

[…] the Politicians who bring up the gay marriage debate, to distract voters from political corruption. Yes, the broken ones are easier to help than the ones (like me) who learned to shuffle dirt under the rug. :p (We have ex-sex workers at […]

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By: Trad linkage | Will S.' Miscellany

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 12:19:02 +0000

[…] Fornication is not a sport. [I really hate divorce] […]

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By: chrisgale

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 02:48:00 +0000

Kiwi. Staring directly over here can get you into fights. In the US, I have to force myself to deliberately look at people’s eyes.

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By: Hearthrose

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 02:45:00 +0000

In theory they run a closed communion, but it’s honor based in fact as well. (I was offered communion at a funeral mass I attended, which I of course passed on). Those who have no honor … will make their apologies to the Judge.

Slouching is bad for your back Walking is okay, you’re supposed to look ahead when you walk. I like staring at faces when really talking. I get a lot of information from faces, so I turn my head until I *can* see your face. But I don’t read as challenging 90% of the time.

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By: chrisgale

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 02:25:00 +0000

No. Everything has potholes. There is a parallel conversation at Zippy’s place. The Catholics do not run an open table: the priest should refuse communion to those who are in open sin. But they have problems with doing this, and as Zippy says, giving a pass to those who are in sin is cruel to those who are struggling with their broken state.

This is why we need to pray more.

A few more things… As a tall beast, I sit in a low chair and generally lean back or forward so I am at your eye level or thereabouts. Much harder when walking — I would be talking at the space above your head at times so no one gets a cricked neck.

All this varies culturally — not merely with being a Kiwi or a ‘murican, but regionally, ethnically… and you have to continually adjust.

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By: Hearthrose

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 01:54:00 +0000

I had to ask my husband what they were doing. One of the pastors I was following around and I had an odd little dance in the hall, where we were talking and he kept going off to the side, and then I’d reorient… and then he’d move… (This is supposed to make you laugh – I gave up after the third move, figured there was a reason, but didn’t know what the reason was).

*I* strongly prefer face-to-face only slightly offset conversations. I can go with what they’re doing – but only if I figure it out first! And I don’t think of myself like *that*.

Looking up at someone a foot taller than I am, particularly if they decide to stand fully next to me is uncomfortable. I’m not saying I won’t respect, but … owie. (Down/side is comfy, side/side is okay if not optimum, up/side is ouch).

Bringing it back to church structure -> church discipline, I just wanted to throw out what the unstructured church does with it. Mostly self-discipline, and that has its potholes. Does anything *not* have its potholes?

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By: Hearthrose

Thu, 20 Mar 2014 01:46:00 +0000

We have home groups. Optional home groups… although they are highly encouraged.

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By: chrisgale

Wed, 19 Mar 2014 22:40:00 +0000

Your elders are smart.
As is your husband. If we are looking directly at you we can see your figure and we may be old, but we are not blind… that is for your husband, not for us. Looking sideways for us means prob. Not looking at you but at the wall beside you or the task we are doing. Besides, we would prob. be looking at you rhead. It’s indirect eye contact, not twisting your neck.

It is very male. We hard code among ourselves direct eye contact as confrontational or power: working alongside is cooperative.

In teaching consultation skills we tend to set chairs at an angle for
these reasons: allows people to safely look away and avoids direct
challenges. You want to be working with a patient, not directing a
patient.

For example, if we are meeting at a table, I would sit around the corner from the pateint, not directly opposite.

—-
Sad to hear about the lady casualty of the fallen Pastor. There are many female victims of all this.

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By: chrisgale

Wed, 19 Mar 2014 22:18:00 +0000

I think communion should be open. We are evangelical, and we must have a time of confession — including both public and private prayers before this, together with the words of comfort.

God does work through these things.

On large churches — Moses. Have leaders of tens (corporals) reporting to leaders of hundreds (sergeants) to leaders of thousands (Captains). Or whatever. The elders need to train sub-elders and sub-elders. And yes, that sounds like home groups.

Or deliberately split the church when it gets to 200 people: which is not what Calvary does.

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By: Hearthrose

Wed, 19 Mar 2014 21:12:00 +0000

Communion at Calvary is open – but is supposed to be on your honor to only take it as a Christian, in right standing with the Lord.

The elders/pastoral staff are *so* careful about time with women. Never alone with women not in their immediate family – no matter the age, no matter the reason. We seem to have added sideways conversations, which make my neck hurt. (DH says it’s harder to stare at things not-the-face if you stand like that).

There are 2-3k members/attenders at CCO. How in hades are the elders supposed to oversee all of their marriages?

Yes, the broken ones are easier to help than the ones (like me) who learned to shuffle dirt under the rug. :p (We have ex-sex workers at CCO, and enough ex-addicts to have a ministry devoted to them).

Does this make you want to beg Jesus to come back and set us in order as it does me? :p

You do a good job – at least through the combox – Chris.

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