Let us think for a second about how a wedding occured in England. Any time up to about 1850.
You went and got permission from her father to marry her.
The banns were read. The date was publicised.
The bride and groom wore Sunday Best, got married, and had a holiday.
That’s it. The white dress was a late development — legend said it was Queen Victoria that started it. But not it is so expensive that flying to Rarotonga (which is a kiwi dependency) and having an Island wedding is cheaper.
This is nuts.
Celebrity couples tie the knot at local lavish weddings, but commoners are increasingly ditching tradition to elope overseas.
Infinity Holidays product manager Melissa Bramley said there had been a significant spike in “destination weddings”.
Bramley said the pressure of organising a large, expensive wedding and inviting extended family made eloping an attractive option.
She said marrying overseas also worked as a combined honeymoon, and a holiday for guests.
“People choose to have a destination [wedding] because you can get such great photography and it can be a lot more cost-effective than having it in New Zealand,” Bramley said.
Now, the wedding is seen by the author as completely social — later it mentions various celebrities — one who has a kid by her partner, and one whose partner is the same sex — getting married in extravagant things.
Time to “go Amish” Or use the older practices of the church… Let me list them.
- A restoration of the theology of the covenant of marriage. Here we need to look to the older theologians (such as the Westminster confession) that warned against expanding divorce — and learn from Catholic priests, who say no to remarriage after frivorce all the time.
- A short engagement. If I am in love with a woman, I want her. In the most physical meaning of that term. Once there is a commitment, marry.
- A cheap wedding. The dollars saved can pay down the student loan or go towards a house. I suggest a simple dress, the guy puts on his suit (men: you need at least one) and you do it at church, just before communion.
- A church run and open wedding breakfast.
- And finally, a cheap place for the honeymoon. You just need each other, not gold plated taps and hot and cold running servants.
Before we had kids, and were younger, my ex-wife lost an argument. She wanted to stay in backpacker dorms. I insisted on a room. All I wanted was a door we could lock and privacy. And some of my favourite memories now are of being dropped into Asia, with no ability to speak the language, choosing food — and realizing mild spice would lift the roof of my head off….
A marriage is about a life, not a wedding. This emphasis on the celebrations is nuts.