The reason it works there is that I am not their lover or spouse. If a woman wants to rebel, there are cookiees and prizes on the dark side.

I agree that
keeping calm is probably the best overall strategy (from a legal
strategic standpoint), but it won’t necessarily save you from anything.
Not from domestic violence, not from false accusations (some don’t need
any proof after all), not from divorce.

Some women will
appreciate you being firm, others won’t. Some women want you to “tame”
them. Some want you to be their “rock” (as you talk about here), and
some want to have either your attention or their way and woe be to you
if you don’t give it to them.

When I deal with the most unstable emotional people I neither run nor freak. I look at the problem and become a robot. I sort the problem. I don’t emote and I do not pretend to share their pain. I try to understand it and sort it.

At times we are all vulnerable and need to know that the one person we are intimate will not fall apart when we do. So you do not fall apart. If she cannot keep to those rules, then… I either leave and she has to sort it out herself or she works with me to get it back together and get on with the tasks at hand.

Being an empathic blob helps no one

“Don’t feed her hysterics. Nothing results in a domestic-violence
incident as fast as feminine hysterics. You know what I’m talking about:
she gets all worked up about something, chases you through the house,
screams at you, throws things, etc. Even if it’s never happened to you,
you probably know of someone who’s had it happen. Nip this sort of thing
in the bud ASAP. Don’t let it escalate and don’t attempt to reason with
her. Talking to a crazy person will make you a crazy person.”

Now how do you nip that behaviour in the bud?