One of the joys of the wayback machine is that it preserves posts that used to be here. I can go through them and make some comments at the same time. This is from two years ago, and in fact linked to another dead site — In male Fide. So without further ado, my thoughts on divorce, returned to an active blog.

The hyperlinks have been removed. They lead into the dead files of the wayback machine

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August 22, 2010

I spent some of this week reviewing the situation around the boys visiting their mother. (Yes, they live with me.)

I’m divorced. I hate the fact that I’m divorced. It has been painful, and expensive. However, given the situation my sons were in, it was needed.

Divorce is never trivial. It is never one person’s fault. But the comments here are correct. The title of the news article says it all – “Divorce Easier as New York Law Ends Need to Lie”.

If you have a legitimate reason to end a marriage, you shouldn’t have to lie. And no, “he doesn’t make me feel like a woman anymore” doesn’t cut it, honey. If he busts his ass at work, treats you with respect and otherwise behaves like a decent human being, you have no cause to divorce him. You should’ve thought before you said “I do.”

“There is a human cost and a financial cost” to a system demanding fault-finding, Robert Ross, supervising judge of the matrimonial division in Nassau County, New York, on Long Island, said before the bill became law. “It’s hard to know what impact a new law will have, but we do know that a grounds trial, and the expense and delay associated with it, is not a good thing.”

Of course there is, you empty robe. It’s not SUPPOSED to be cheap or easy to end an arrangement with so much significance. The minute getting out of marriage became as easy as getting a passport is the minute marriage lost all of its sanctity.

Well, in most of the world that has already happened. We now are in a situation where there is serial monogamy. Kids hate it. The couples who split hate it. And the Church, who solemnizes most marriages (the civil laws were driven by the need to deal with non thinkers: originally birth, marriages and deaths were motorized in the parish register) is not taking this seriously.