Mark is the most condensed Gospel. What Luke or Matthew will describe in paragraphs or chapters, is but a sentence. And one cannot make any assumptions that things are in time order, or random, but that they are placed together.
I have said many times that I hate divorce, and much more now I have one. But consider the theme within the gospel. Christ twists this and talks about hardness of heart. Divorce was given because our hearts harden, and then we break our vows or abandon those we have a duty to.
1He left that place and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. And crowds again gathered around him; and, as was his custom, he again taught them.
2Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.” 5But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. 6But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
13People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. 14But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. 15Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
On the issue of divorce, I have talked frequently about the theological positions that have been taken, and how I look at the scholarly work done centuries ago on this, before divorce was common. However, today I don’t want to discuss this. For the Pharisees were correct about the law of Moses — although they took it to an extreme — a woman was divorced if she was given a certificate of the same, and this was a right of a husband. (Indeed, there are now feminist Jews who fulminate against the orthodox because they cannot demand a divorce and force him to give one — and then remarry within the Orthodox. They want the cover of sanctity to their behaviour).
I’d rather say that I have been in error, and deal with the inner Christian nice guy and spineless chump that I was taught to be, and became weaker, and then despised. I will add that I know many people — men and women — who have been divorced, have new partners, live with them, share mortgages with them, have children with them but do not marry. Locally the family court considers that if you have cohabited for two years you are obligated to obey their orders (including division of property). Our laws assume marriage is now optional. So Jesus’ may in part be prophetic about the risk of adultery. Once married, the tendency to want a physical relationship is stronger than when younger, but more innocent.
However, the issue here is one of hardness. For there is contrast. We turn to one of the passages of the Bible everyone knows and likes. Jesus telling the disciples to let the children near him. For such are the kingdom of God. Children trust, and children love. So should we trust our God.
So should be our relationships within marriage. But they are not. They are not. Although women tend to harm their husbands by contempt and gossip and men by becoming cold and unfeeling, It is not just the men who have hardened their heart: I am quoting something SSM wrote to women, but it applies to all.
Understand that you are in a spiritual battle. Make a little prayer spot for yourself in a quiet place if you can; I have a little corner in the basement where I go to pray. I encourage you in the strongest possible way to have such a spot, and then go there daily and get on your knees (literally) before God. Ask Him to give your husband a new heart, to take away his heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. You do this because you want your husband to be reconciled to God for his own sake but also because you want your husband to love you. It is okay to want that. It is not selfish to hope that your husband will love you, even though you must be prepared to patiently do your duty to him and submit to him even if he never chooses to love you.
In these days, you can pray for your wife, and attempt to lead: you can be a man of God and of the gym: you can not look at another woman (and thus be a better man than I am) and still end up divorced because she is being told by her friends that the grass is greener as a single. It is no coincidence that many chick flicks are about a woman who is divorced finding a hunky movie star who (miraculously) is neither gay nor married or living with someone. It’s a fantasy. The context to the quote here, is that a person emailed JB and said her husband would leave her, and she should shut up and make the evil brute a sandwich.
Completely misunderstanding the male psyche once again. Men have nothing better to do than to go ahead and leave their good, (relatively) sane, sexy (feminine and not fat) wives with whom they share a multitude of memories and risk it all in order to have some younger booty and end up with a true bitch on the crazy side. Unless that hitherto reliable Alpha has suddenly become a cocaine-addicted alco-sexaholic the likelihood of such hatemails coming true are similar to 400 pound models getting covershots for Vogue.
There are, of course, feminists who argue that “plus size” (read pretty face: morbidly obese) women should be on the cover of fashion magazines because lookism.
When I married I wanted to grow old with the ex. Death til us do part. I did what I was taught to do: and for various reasons it failed. Now, NAWALT, and there are reasons why my children live with me and there is 1000 km and Cook Strait between us and the ex. But this world is fallen, and there will be casualties.
The battle is spiritual. For God hates divorce. The enemy, however, loves it.
I can’t change the fact that my parents divorced.
I can live my life so that my kids will never have to have divorced parents.
It’s still a spiritual battle. The only life you can control is your own. You have to pray for your spouse, fervantly, because in our society they can pull the trigger at any time.