The busy and the important.

Oulu, Finland.
Oulu, Finland.

Over the last day or so my Son has been talking, and I have been lacking patience. I have been attending funerals, sorting out clinical duties in what functionally is a two-day-week, and missing my parents and GF, who is visiting her family: I have been organizing to visit my family because people there are getting frail (particularly my father-in-law) and in short, I have been busy. And I have been using the blog to distract.

Today we have Ecclesiastes. This is a complete shock to our idea that we have any control over what is going to happen, and it is the kind of answer I’m forced to give my son a lot: “I do not know what is going to happen. I can see the patterns, but that does not mean it will occur as that video says. I do know God is in control”.

Or… we have enough to do raising our families and doing good. We do not need to see big.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-13

1   For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2   a time to be born, and a time to die;  a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3   a time to kill, and a time to heal;  a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4   a time to weep, and a time to laugh;  a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5   a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;  a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6   a time to seek, and a time to lose;  a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
7   a time to tear, and a time to sew;  a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8   a time to love, and a time to hate;  a time for war, and a time for peace.

9What gain have the workers from their toil? 10I have seen the business that God has given to everyone to be busy with. 11He has made everything suitable for its time; moreover he has put a sense of past and future into their minds, yet they cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 12I know that there is nothing better for them than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live; 13moreover, it is God’s gift that all should eat and drink and take pleasure in all their toil.

Matthew 25:31-46

31“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, 33and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. 34Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” 37Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? 38And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ 40And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’ 41Then he will say to those at his left hand, ‘You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; 42for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ 44Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?’ 45Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

We cannot pretend that caring for the unjustly imprisoned, or hungry, or thirsty is not our business. We cannot pretend that teaching our children how to live well, and leading our families, men, is something we can delegate.

It is too easy to be distracted by the big things. To get wound up about the injustices that are institutionalized in the green movement, or how the idea that you cannot be offended shuts down free speech — I do get wound up, and in 2013 I was quite vocal at times, here, in the twittosphere (where the snark runs free). And at times, at work.

But we need to do our duty. Consider Allamagoosa this morning describing how her husband has put a frame around her and given her freedom.

He’s one of only a few people in my life who treats me like a human being, complete with flaws, weaknesses, strengths, and areas of ignorance. So many people in my life have held me to ridiculously high standards and been disappointed when I was incapable of performing as expected. I’m still learning how to cook and I can’t do math, like at all, and he loves me anyway.

He took a girl who’d only been told she was pretty five times in her life and not only made her believe she was beautiful, but made other people believe it too. In the past I could count how many times I’d been called pretty or beautiful on one hand, and now I can’t even keep track. Strangers compliment me, the older ladies at church say I’m pretty like an angel. The only thing that happened is he walked into my life. My maid of honor said during her toast that when she first saw us together, I seemed to glow, that she’d never seen me so happy.

He’s given me the freedom to actually live my life the way I want to. He’s lifted so many crushing burdens from my shoulders. I’m finally pursuing the life I want to live, which of course, is the life that no one assumed that a smart girl like me wanted and never would have encouraged me to pursue. All the stuff that I ever wanted to do, I finally have the courage to do those things now that I’m by his side.

And Elspeth, who is an older woman, sums up what the scripture is telling us.

Walk past enough caskets and your vision starts to come into focus. I don’t know if 2014 will be the year someone may have to walk past mine, so I can’t waste time on foolishness.

My children had this phrase they would say to one another when another of them was doing something not only stupid, but cliche. They’d say to the offending party, “Hey. Don’t be that kid.”

When I sense myself behaving not only stupidly but in a way that is so stupid as to be cliche, I tell myself, “Don’t be that chick.” You know the one: petty, bitchy, vindictive, gossipy, and judgmental. Fancying myself all around perfect compared to every other woman I meet. A snowflake so perfect -and so cold- that my presence offers no warmth to those so unfortunate as to find themselves in my vicinity.

I want to live on purpose, to spend my life being a blessing to those who cross my path.

I’m fairly reformed. For me, today is just another state holiday. I can sleep in (needed) and make a leisurely breakfast for the son who is with me. I’ve talked to my Mum. I’ve looked at the passages for today.

I can do things today with the boy. I can try to make people a little more happy as I get through this day: but it’s no good thinking big, for the government is going to be asleep until Waitangi day. (Which is in February). New Zealand is on holiday.

So today, I will pray that Allamagoosa has a wonderful marriage, Elspeth and the TC ladies all continue to have wonderful marriages and good health, and the same to my friends, and family who I can see face to face.

And to the readers, in this new year think about the people around you as much as the big issues. No: that’s wrong. Think about the people around you — who you can influence MORE than the big issues. For those we have prayer.

We should pray for those around us, true. But for them, we can also do good.

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