I made pancakes this morning. Last night I asked my younger son what he wants for breakfast. Tomorrow he turns 16 and (while the parenting order exists that expires on his 16th birthday) he has been directed by his mother using the order to visit her now his exams are over (last one yesterday) and the school year has finished.

I’m not particularly human on these days. I have a set of actions planned: Orchestra in the morning, take him to the airport, then go to the gym. Do not go near the GF — I have enough problems with that temptation anyway and when I am in this state the comfort of her arms would lead to further things. I’m angry and horny. I’m not stupid.

I need to add something to what I said yesterday, after a comment by Ray.

To paraphrase the rules for elder-ship in my church — you have to live in a state of holy celibacy or faithful and loving marriage. The celibate life is a great sacrifice and those who choose it are to be honoured. From that have come a whole group of people who have done great things for God.

But most of us burn. I do. I’m not cut out to be a monk. And most elders come from that group. When looking at who to be an elder, then you should look at how the man (male elders, wives are not husbands) deals with his wife and his colleagues and raises his kids. If he is faithful and loving there, and the children are godly and he has a good reputation, he can be considered. Or, more pithily, judge him by his fruit.

And the fruits of feminism are despair, loneliness, isolation, and a lack of hospitality.

I better get to the text for today before I deviate to Toby, who thinks he has done good.

1 Peter 4:7-19

⁷The end of all things is near; therefore be serious and discipline yourselves for the sake of your prayers. ⁸Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. ⁹Be hospitable to one another without complaining. ¹⁰Like good stewards of the manifold grace of God, serve one another with whatever gift each of you has received. ¹¹Whoever speaks must do so as one speaking the very words of God; whoever serves must do so with the strength that God supplies, so that God may be glorified in all things through Jesus Christ. To him belong the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

¹²Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that is taking place among you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. ¹³But rejoice insofar as you are sharing Christ’s sufferings, so that you may also be glad and shout for joy when his glory is revealed. ¹⁴If you are reviled for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the spirit of glory, which is the Spirit of God, is resting on you. ¹⁵But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, a criminal, or even as a mischief maker. ¹⁶Yet if any of you suffers as a Christian, do not consider it a disgrace, but glorify God because you bear this name. ¹⁷For the time has come for judgment to begin with the household of God; if it begins with us, what will be the end for those who do not obey the gospel of God? ¹⁸And

“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinners?”

¹⁹Therefore, let those suffering in accordance with God’s will entrust themselves to a faithful Creator, while continuing to do good.

Matthew 20:29-34

²⁹As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. ³⁰There were two blind men sitting by the roadside. When they heard that Jesus was passing by, they shouted, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” ³¹The crowd sternly ordered them to be quiet; but they shouted even more loudly, “Have mercy on us, Lord, Son of David!” ³²Jesus stood still and called them, saying, “What do you want me to do for you?” ³³They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” ³⁴Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes. Immediately they regained their sight and followed him

I refuse to spiritualize my divorce. I do not see this as a trial sent by any adversary that leads me to take some kind of role as a victim or martyr. Instead I consider that raising my boys is an act of repair: allowing the damage they had from me and their mother to heal. For it leaks.

I’m quite aware that on the internet we can talk about this because most of the time we are discussing things within a group of people who choose to read the broken scribblings of the broken, the divorced, the cast off — and those who cling not to what they are told the spirit is saying but to scripture and the interpretation of scripture that have been tested over centuries.

I’m also aware that the more popular blogs in the neo-traditional or neo-christian (neo-reformed if you will: the Catholics and Orthodox would call this position the traditional one) part of the Internet get a lot of opposition from everyone from the trollettes at GOMI to the hip fools of the emerging (and increasingly compromised) church.

So what is the guidance from today’s passage? Well, three fold. Firstly to love: that means to put the other’s needs before yours: in marriage this may mean holding a person when you don’t really want to but for this single it means not holding someone when you desperately want to. Secondly, to use your talents for good, and continue to do this, regardless of how you feel right now. Our lives are made up of habits, and habits out of a series of choices. And thirdly. to cry out to God for healing, for no one in this church, on this world, is perfect, flawless, without pain, and without the need to see clearly, or with the strength to act consistently. We all need God’s mercy.