When the first love is broken.

Today my younger son will be given prizes. He will play at his school assembly. School will break up. And tonight he will travel to be with his mother. Last night we had to pack his bag, and this morning the batter for pancakes, his favorite, has been made.

Being a solo father, at times is painful. Yesterday Kate Scott presented some data on the male and female ratios for depression. It appears that living in a more traditional society increases the rates of depression in women… and substance abuse in women. But it is not marriage that seems to be the big trigger, but divorce.

When I turn to today’s readings I find some challenges.

REVELATION 2:1-2:7
1″To the angel of the church in Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand, who walks among the seven golden lampstands:
2″I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance. I know that you cannot tolerate evildoers; you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them to be false. 3I also know that you are enduring patiently and bearing up for the sake of my name, and that you have not grown weary. 4But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. 5Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent. 6Yet this is to your credit: you hate the works of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7Let anyone who has an ear listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. To everyone who conquers, I will give permission to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.”

Yesteday I saw young colleagues come out of a seminar on career development buzzing. They had been listening to each other’s research… and they remembered why they had entered the field at all.
But we tend to forget this. Life grinds. My emotions this morning are being managed… because not only is the son visiting his mother throughout Christmas, but she has come to Dunedin to attend things at his school that I cannot (which is good) and I have to support this for my son’s sake. The marraige is dead, but we stumble on.
God reminds us that he is not like that. He will not fail us. In fact, he will not put the burdens on us that tradition will.

MATTHEW 23:1-12
1Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, 2″The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat; 3therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it; but do not do as they do, for they do not practice what they teach. 4They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. 5They do all their deeds to be seen by others; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long. 6They love to have the place of honor at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues, 7and to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and to have people call them rabbi. 8But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all students. 9And call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father — the one in heaven. 10Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Messiah. 11The greatest among you will be your servant. 12All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.”

I think we need to be very careful here. In the end, we depend on Jesus. And he reverses the commands…
… which is interesting. At this meeting, I am supposed to be leading. What this means is that I am either running sessions, grading posters, or organizing things that I had not thought we needed to do (good wine for the speakers? Two teleconferences? Find a speakerphone?… Done. To lead is to put the needs of others before yourself, at least in academe.
So we have to continually, continually, refer back to Jesus.
And Jesus was not being that sarcastic when he said the Pharisees sit on the Lar — that their theology was basically correct. But the hardness of the tradition, and the glosses on tradition, we oppressive, and at times contradicted the law. We therefore find our Lord and Master giving one of the most anticlerical speeches ever given.
And we need to follow him, and server, do good, and pray that our first love will be found. Because in this season, I confess mine is shattered.

4 thoughts on “When the first love is broken.

  1. I understand and sympathize.

    I just realized something was dead for years despite the yearly anniversary celebration. I now live alone. I hadn’t felt the emptiness of loneliness for 15 years, and it swept me further away from everything, including GOD. I have to reach all of the way “over the edge” just to get near to how close I once was to HIM. It is hard.

    Mike

  2. Hang in there, Chris. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    Thanks. Son and ex-wife were evacuated airport last night because of bomb scare, but are OK

  3. … which is interesting. At this meeting, I am supposed to be leading. What this means is that I am either running sessions, grading posters, or organizing things that I had not thought we needed to do (good wine for the speakers? Two teleconferences? Find a speakerphone?… Done. To lead is to put the needs of others before yourself, at least in academe.

    Awh. It sounds like you need a secretary, or a personal assistant. This just might be a New Yorker mentality, but bosses are only supposed to do the important things. Like, you shouldn’t be ordering refreshments, or making photocopies – that’s busywork to foist onto someone else. You Kiwis sure are down to Earth…

    We had conference organisers — who took about 20% of the budget (160 people, about 140 000 to run all up). But the organisers have a three year contract and had never been do my town before. They did not think about these things. I knew where to find them. And no, I don’t have a PA.

    & good luck with everything.